Zirongchen a dit :

Cannons:
The war was raging out the windows of the red-brick house. I looked out as I pass through the calendar with a big number sign at my sight: 2113 。I reached to the window and saw the red curry curtain. The curtain masked the blood and violent happening at the city of transcannonmice. But with the firing of cannons and bubbles rising from pits, the curtain was just a mask sprayed with reality and cannot be fixed into ignorance. My eyes flashed angrily with thought of perfect future. When I use to be a young mouse I was pleased with the mind of a perfect future, now with the war on my city I am amused with it. But as much as I am amuse to that idea, or how much anger I release out of it is forgetful considering the war. Then a loud knock on the door remove my dreamily sensation. The summons of my captain shot me a speed boost as I rapidly get prepare for my battle: The battle of Cannontown. I left my spells, because I learn hotcannons. then walking out of the door, I met a mouse with golden hair and a pair of green eyes and a face with anger shooting at me. I smiled and his face lit up and smiled back. Captain Angle could never get over my sense of humor and my bright spirit.
(HERE IS THE SPACE)
“I need mice on the front lines of Cannontown and someone who masters hotcannons is my best choice, Nico” Angle....

Vivihi a dit :

Woahhhhh nice story :) But when you start a new paragraph, make a space.
Example:
^^

The title is really long in my opinion o.o

Zirongchen a dit :

I have trouble understanding ur comment

Chapter1. a dit :

This is my first fanfiction,and I been reading other fanfictions since the forums were maked(well not that long along).So I was like why not make my own so here it is,also I know the title is long, its because I dont have a title for my story(originally called cannons).So arrcording to literature the title is my first sentence if I dont have one of course so here it is:

Cannons:
The war was raging out the windows of the red-brick house. I looked out as I pass through the calendar with a big number sign at my sight: 2113 。I reached to the window and saw the red curry curtain. The curtain masked the blood and violent happening at the city of transcannonmice. But with the firing of cannons and bubbles rising from pits, the curtain was just a mask sprayed with reality and cannot be fixed into ignorance. My eyes flashed angrily with thought of perfect future. When I use to be a young mouse I was pleased with the mind of a perfect future, now with the war on

my city I am amused with it. But as much as I am amuse to that idea, or how much anger I release out of it is forgetful considering the war. Then a loud knock on the door remove my dreamily sensation. The summons of my captain shot me a speed boost as I rapidly get prepare for my battle: The battle of Cannontown. I left my spells, because I learn hotcannons. then walking out of the door, I met a mouse with golden hair and a pair of green eyes and a face with anger shooting at me. I smiled and his face lit up and smiled back. Captain Angle could never get over my sense of humor and my bright spirit.


“I need mice on the front lines of Cannontown and someone who masters hotcannons is my best choice, Nico” Angle said as he leads me down into the streets of Cannontown. As we went down, the marks of the war was allow to be seen visually. The watery marks of the bubbles was clear. The cannon smears was carved into the road and grave faces of mice show after affects of the war. Finally, we stopped at a line of 10 mice studying their hotcannon books . Captain l

left me there with the sense of sadness shared among the mice. Soon I begun to feel the dreadful situation the war have lead us through. This sadness…It reminded me the time my family fought. My brother and I was arguing about the war; my brother wanted me to join the other side: That moustache, and when the war started my brother left me. I couldn’t digest the memory and wanted to pay no contribution to the war, but suddenly the roar of the opposing side signaled me to fight. Only then I found how proficient i was in shaman wars. The waves of my spammed cannons

receives the admiration of my team and I was suddenly the hope of this battle. My cannons get stronger with pride and the whole team advanced. I thought we were going to win. Then a cannon corrupted my thought, as i was dragged down into a pit. My final sight of my life was the smirk on Leon’s face and a treachery in my family-…….

Zirongchen a dit :

Tell me it in english

Zirongchen a dit :

I have trouble understanding ur comment
Tell me it in english

Zirongchen a dit :

I am not trying to be rude....... I jsut dont understand her
Thank you for explaining

Juliasaysmoo a dit :

*I am

Just saying.

Micefamilies a dit :

I like the story owo