Chapter 1:

We begin on a planet with many strange creatures. Some on four legs, some on two legs, some intelligent, some dumb. The dominant species we have nicknamed Nosings. They have built large concrete trees that touch the clouds. They even contained some of the innocent animals in some strange thing they call a Zoo. Some animals were kept as what they called "pets". They were often very loyal to their owners but some of the pets were simply too dangerous and had to be given away or have slain their owners. One of those pets was a mouse.

Some of the mice though were taken to a strange, large formations of concrete and were stabbed with strange cylinders with a blade at the end. It'd either inject or take out blood. The mice often screech in pain due to the sharp blade entering their body and their skin. It didn't last for long though and was quickly over. These strange men wearing white started using mice for more extreme tests. Soon, we were injected with many other things. Most of the mice had died in the experimentation. Some survived however and became intelligent.

The mice started going through the see-through pathways and stealing green paper from a huge black lock. They had enough of us, they started placing traps and sending men in large yellow outfits to handle us. They wanted us gone from their planet so they put us into large white things.

They had a countdown and boom, the vibration began. I felt the pressure go against my puny body. I thought I wouldn't make it along with my fellow comrades but luckily I did. We soon found ourselves drifting through a black void of darkness with dots of many colors. We drifited for years on end and soon we started a colony in the rocket. We soon started our own democracy and elected our own presidents to lead us.

We soon saw a planet in the distance, a planet that looked like the previous planet. Our rocket was pulled toward the planet and we came down in a blazing, hot fire. Crash! We landed in the middle of the ground and the glass had broken from the crash. Mice were evacuated through the glass and what we saw was a beautiful land with floating platforms everywhere. Our president than declared "This is our new home land. For the transformations we have made throughout our lives, we shall name this planet, Transformice" Everyone cheered for the mouse president. Good things don't always last forever though....

So, how do you guys like it so far?

It's a huge wall of text @-@ You should consider breaking it up.
Also who's "we?" Is this gonna be second person?

Good luck and keep it up. :)

What the narrator means by we is the entire colony of mice or the narrators supposed to be telling a story to a certain little mouse.

I also split it up into paragraphs for easier reading. Glad you like it!

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. MY SCHEDULE GOT CRAMMED AND I LOST A BIT OF INTEREST IN TFM.

Part 2:

Everything was great for a while. We estabilished farms and crops. No governments trying to hoard us into concrete caves, no corrupt scientists conducting experiments and slaying innocent mice. Our presidents were great and made the right decisions. It was paradise. Until creatures rose from the depths of the planet with the floating platforms.

These creatures flew lightning speed at us. We decided to name them "Sky Spearers." They used methane and momentum to impale us and than toss us into the air, onto another sky spearer blade on the front of their face. Once the impaling was done, we were left to die and rot on the ground and to be picked up by the "blips." Blips were omnivores and would eat mice regularly. They were also victims of sky spearers and their corpses would be used as food and sometimes their skeletons would be built into homes.

We had to move away from our former homeland into mysterious turf to escape the monsters. We had to cross a floating ocean on our way. There were creatures that were extinct on Earth living in those oceans. Desperate for food, many of our primitive ships were swallowed and mice were ripped into tiny little meat chunks. Soon enough, we made it and began a new land.

Soon, our politicans began to become corrupt. New monsters started appearing without our military doing anything about it. Riots soon appeared in the capital city. Soon enough, idiot mice elected an extremely corrupted person as president. Huge arguments began in our government while the president just sat there, not giving a rats rear over what was happening. He weakened the military greatly and started raising the debt.

Soon, TFM fell into a civil war. The government was divided into pink and blue. Mice were picked up off the street and sent into war. Our cities were destroyed and only villages remained. Young mice were stolen from their parents and sent into chambers to go through training meant for professional soldiers. Soon, almost all of TFM was destroyed from the war and the war still raged on. We needed a new president, one that would fix this war and save our world. We found a mouse named Agram Oda. He did everything he could to try and fix TFM. His greatest moment was when he made his great speech on Jemuarn 13, 168.

"Our world is in great peril. Innocent mice picked up off the streets to fight a war they should not fight. We started this war through our foolishness. Corrupted politicans have ruined our country. However, we can fix this if we join together and become one nation again. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what we did here"

TFM soon joined together and became one nation again. However though, something strange was going on that Agram Oda didn't know.

This story is great!!! :D

(claps)


vvv Yw :D

[insert gif of bowing with the words "thank you thank you" here]

Part 3:


Secret experiments were going on at the surface. Mice had constructed laboratorys and are picking random citizens to test. Citizens don't remebmer what happens to them during testing but those who remember some parts about it remember brutality.

Some of the scientists had recorded tapes in the lab for government use only. One of the tapes leaked to the public and was extremely frightening. The government was conducting mind and emotion control. Those who had seen the tape were brainwashed or told never to speak about it again or they would be slain. Some kept secret copies of what is known as "The Lab Tape." The tapes describe a large beast like creature killing mice with gunshots in the background. The names of the mice were learned from the nametags found on their bodies. Some nametags were not recovered.

Barno: Experiment 795 is complete.
Female 1: Conducting cleaning process.
Amelia: Hah, stupid piece of crud thinks he can get out of this barrier!
Male 1: Try not to tick him off. If you do, he'll have a chance of getting out.
Female 2: Shut your trap. He'll never get out.
Barno: We don't want to take any chances though.
Amelia: Let's go out for a cup of coffee and come back later to conduct more experiments.
Barno: Good idea Amelia.
*Group of scientists walks out of the room and towards the lunch court*
*The large beast pounds against the wall*
*Group of scientists return*
Barno: Ha ha ha, little fool. You couldn't even bre-
Male 2: OH CRUD!
Barno: Deaaauuguuugh!
*Beast bursts through wall and tears Male 2 apart*
Amelia: NO!
*Amelia is devoured and ripped apart by the monster*
*Camera falls to the ground and there is lots of shaking*
Male 1: SHOOT IT DOWN SHOOT IT DOWN!
*Gunfire*

The tape ends at that point. The body of the beast was not found, but bloody footprints were found leading outside of the laboratory. Military officals later find the dead body of a huge beast lying down in the forest. The body is burned and all evidence was removed and taken to secret military bases. Where more experiments, were conducted.

STILL WORKING ON IDEAS FOR CHAPTER.

Bladeperson a dit :

STILL WORKING ON IDEAS FOR CHAPTER.

Cant wait yo~ It's pretty good c:

can i be in this story?
< appearance in the avatar

This story, is great! well done,
:D Cant wait till i read the rest of it.