I'll base this more off of the CFM Fanfic Competition because I miss them :c

I hope to have this competition run monthly. Yes, monthly. And to avoid spamming the forums, they will all go in this thread.

Now, I am aware that there has already been one writing competition, but the rules were different (e-mailed, original stories). For October 2013, I plan for this competition to be... big. Real big.

Rules
- You can submit ANY story that you've made. Yes, even the ones from a year ago that you completely forgot about. This is only for this month, so I seriously suggest you sign up now if you want your story to get recognition and acclaim.
- Only one story per user per category. I am aware of some users that have made multiple stories, and I feel that if they submitted all their stories, it would be unfair and give them a higher chance of winning.
- Don't advertise. If people like it, than they'll most likely read it and make it popular by word of mouth. If not, then they won't. It's simple. Spamming links to your story will not help, and simply disqualify you from the competition.
- Don't blackmail the judges. In my case, that would simply make me give your story a /lower/ rating.
- Cross-fics are OK. In case you aren't aware of what cross-fics are, they are fan-fictions which combine elements of two different stories. A good example would be The Cheese Games by Allaeyr. Just remember to make changes. I don't want a carbon copy of The Hunger Games since most of us know how it ends. I want to be surprised.
- Please be nice to each other and to me. Don't talk trash about other stories. If you honestly have critiques with other users, then say it nicely and do it constructively.
- Learn to take critiques. No one has a perfect story. Even the most acclaimed stories (1984, Moby Dick, Romeo and Juliet) have their own flaws.
- Judges are allowed to submit their own stories, but of course, they may not judge their own stories. That'll be up to the other judges.

How to Sign Up:
- Just post a link to your story.
- Remember that your story must have at least 5 chapters and 1,000 words.
- Submission of stories ends on October 25.
- You may submit one story per category. You may not submit the same story for different categories.

Judging and Criteria
My favorite part.

Each story will be judged on a 90-point system for the first round. Now, unlike the competition in CFM, all judges judge based on all the criteria. But what exactly are the criteria? They are...

Plot (30 points)
- The most important criteria of them all. Plot. How exciting is your story? Does it make me cry and laugh at the same time? Or is it only effective as a lullaby? A story that would get a lot of points in the Plot category is one that keeps me on the edge of my seat, that I actually enjoy reading.

Creativity (20 points)
- Does it include something I've never seen before? Or am I able to predict every twist within the first chapter? I want something that shocks me, that interests me. I don't want some story about three heroes that become shamans, save the world from Tig and Meli, and seemingly die but come back in the end. Everyone knows those stories.

Grammar/Vocabulary (20 points)
- My favorite category, and something I feel a lot of people disregard. Normal grammar will get you 13-15 points. Grammar with some slight errors with get 10-13. Anything under 10 means you really need to proofread. And 15-20 points? Means that the way you format and type this story actually adds something to the story. Your stories are verbose and seem almost poetic.

Organization (10 points)
- This could be included in grammar, but I decided to make it a separate category instead. Now, this should be an easy 10 points, but for those who want elaboration... is it easy to read? Or do you use Skittles colors which make it an eyesore? Or is it a wall of text?

Characterization (10 points)
- Do your characters stay true to their personality throughout the story? Do they change? Or do they still act immature despite having saved the world? Or do they switch personalities every other sentence?

Once we're finished with judging your story, I shall average the scores of all the judges. The top three will move on to the second round, which takes place from October 25 to October 30. Here, you get to decide the winner. There's going to be a special form for voting which I'll show later on. The story with the most votes wins this competition!

If less than three people vote, then the votes don't count and the winner is chosen based on the scores from the first round. If three-five people vote, then their votes only count for half the score, and their scores from the first round account for the other half. If more than five vote, then only the audience score will count.

Categories and Special Awards

I. Freestyle
- Anything goes here. Just make sure it's 5 chapters with at least 1,000 words. Also, of course, related to Transformice.

II. One-shot
- It can be 50 or 1,000. It can be horror, romance, adventure, or comedy. Whatever you want. Just submit your five-minute fic here!

III. Horror
- It's October, so of course, I have to include this. Horror, in my opinion, is one of the hardest genres to write. It's really hard to genuinely scare someone with stories, so my criteria is a bit relaxed here. But for horror, just make a story that creeps me out, unsettles me. One that stays with me for the rest of the day.

inb4everyonewritesaboutvampiremaps

Special Awards:
- Here's a note about special awards: they're voted on by the audience. It'll be part of a form that I'll release later on. If less than 3 people vote however, then we will decide who wins the special awards. If 3-5 people vote, then we, the judges, will also vote. If more than 5 people vote, only they will vote. Authors who have submitted stories can vote, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T VOTE FOR THEIR OWN STORY. Any person who votes for their own story will have their form ignored.

Also, we can withhold an award if no one seems to meet the standards.

1.) Best Male Character
- Is he not a Gary Stu? Is he interesting? Does he become lovable and likeable? Does it feel like the writer actually knows him and is writing a real person? This is what we look for for this award.

2.) Best Female Character
- Same for above.

3.) Best Premise
- Often, I see stories that, even if they don't turn out well, have a premise that I've never seen. One that keeps me hooked for longer than normal. I want to see that this competition.

4.) Judge's Choice
- Here, we'll give out an award for the story that we feel deserves the most recognition. Note that this award won't be given out if less than 5 people vote.

5.) Best Villain
- Does your villain have multiple traits? Is s/he more than just some person who does bad things for laughs? Does s/he actually intimidate us? That's what I want to see in this award.

HIRING! HIRING!
I need two to three judges for this. Please :c

Just sign up here. If I choose you and you become a judge, you must post your scores here in this thread and explain why you gave them that score.

As a judge, you should be opinionated. Don't hold back and give them nothing but compliments. Try critiquing them. But don't be too harsh. Don't say that this story makes you want to kill yourself. Just explain what's wrong and what's right with the story and give them a score.

Also, I need someone to help make prizes, because the only prize I can think of is an appearance in my story, and I personally think that's a sucky prize. Preferrably artwork, like avatars.


So, good luck and have fun writing!

This post is reserved for scores of all participants, and later on, an archive of the winners and losers for each month.

PL: Plot
CR: Creativity
GR: Grammar
OR: Organization
CH: Characterization


[img]http://transformiceplus.tk/negrito/?t=October 2013: (Ongoing)[/img]
Angel In The Sky by Bethdacat
Scores:
Maraoone - 55/90
PL: 17/30
CR: 12/20
GR: 11/20
OR: 8/10
CH: 7/10

Flutterbest - 48/90
PL: 15/30
CR: 11/20
GR: 11/20
OR: 5/10
CH: 6/10

Unicorm - 40/90
PL: 13/30
CR: 6/20
GR: 9.5/20
OR: 6.5/10
CH: 5/10

Haruhitastic - 43/90
PL: 15/30
CR: 12/20
GR: 10/20
OR: 1/10
CH: 5/10

AVERAGE: 46.5/90

Welcome to Transformice by Micefamilies
Scores:
Maraoone - 54/90
PL: 17/30
CR: 11/20
GR: 11/20
OR: 8/10
CH: 7/10

Flutterbest - 63/90
PL: 23/30
CR: 15/20
GR: 13/20
OR: 6/10
CH: 6/10

Unicorm - 46/90
PL: 13/30
CR: 11/20
GR: 10/20
OR: 8/10
CH: 4/10

Haruhitastic - N/A

AVERAGE: 54.3/90

Another extra reserved post just in case.

wow I'm working on a story now but it'd take me forever to finish

and I don't wanna just hand you the first few chapters because first of all that wouldn't even be the start of what happens and second, I think it'd be rude of me to do so

so I'll probably pm you more of the story later but knowing that I have a month to complete this I better hurry

Very well organized

Topic-430145
Name: "Angel in the Sky"
Written by: Bethdacat
Illustrated by: Anyone who makes fanart
Catagory: I

Sounds really neat. I'll be glad to be a judge c;

I'd be honored if you'd allow me to be a judge. -u-
I'd like to discover more writing styles.

Yeah, if you don't mind my harsh ass I would also like to be a judge.

Ooh, all three spots filled up immediately! Yayyy.

@ Bengal: You'd PM me with CFM, right? Also, I'll just note that it's acceptable to post your stories here or to link to another thread.

@ Katiee: Thanks!

@ Bethda: Yayyy first participant.

@Neko, Uni, Haruhi: Wow, didn't expect so many sign-ups so quickly! All three of you are accepted.

EDIT: I'm about to finish judging Bethda's story. Please note that the notes I post are summarized and trimmed. You can always request for my full critiques, but I write them as I read the story, and I'm EXTREMELY harsh when I write these. Just warning you.

[quote=Maraoone
@ Bengal: You'd PM me with CFM, right? Also, I'll just note that it's acceptable to post your stories here or to link to another thread.[/quote]

yep
it might be in a few weeks or so..

Angels in the Sky by Bethdacat

Total Score: 55/90

Plot - 17/30
- It's bland, if I'm being honest with you. Also, tons of stuff that just goes unexplained. For example, I think a lot of time passed between chapter 1 and chapter 2 since you include a flashback, yet it's not clear whether this is true or not. Also, you mention saying nothing about Beth's secret. What is that? Also, it's really dumb for someone to say out loud 'Oh say everything but the secrets' because everyone's knee-jerk reaction in real life would be 'OOH OOH WHATS THE SECRET TELL ME TELL MEEEEE'. Make the dialogue smarter.

There's also including several in-game mechanics. I'll give you a pass on the TV, or the camera, or even the hearts, and seeing some random person's name floating above their head. But how does she know that Kura's an admin? How can she tell what Fluffy's tribe is? Does she access a profile with her mind? And also Chapter 1 quotes the tutor mouse word for word. At least alter a bit because it seems weird that she'd understand 'keyboard arrows' means 'walk'.

Grammar: - 11/20
- Sorry if the grade seems really low, but I've mentioned how I grade. 13-15 is when your grammar is perfect, but still same-o, same-o. It's incredibly hard to get 16-20 since that's for the cases when grammar actually enhances the story.

I gave you an 11 since there were several errors I noticed here. First, you misuse several words. There's a saying which explains why this is wrong.

Mark Twain - "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

Also, minor errors and stuff, but I usually give a pass for that.

And then there's the censoring for curses. Look, you either say the actual word or not. It's not nice seeing '@&*#' or '****' in a narrative.

Creativity - 12/20
- I actually gave you a few points here for adding cats. I have to admit, despite the fact that including cats as a villain seems so obvious, I don't see it often.

Also, I was so ticked off at the beginning because I assumed Beth was the chosen one, but apparently there's more. So one more point for that.

But really, I can tell that this is going to end with you annihilating the cats. There's a lot of cliches, so you get a score of 12.

Organization: 8/10
- Deductions here for the ~~~FLASHBACK~~~ part (you should use a simple --- or -.-.- or really, anything but that combination of tildes and all-caps). Also, if you include author notes, put them before your story or after, and separate them by line breaks. Other than that though, it's OK. Easy to read, no walls of texts.

Characterization - 7/10
- Only a 7 because Beth appears to be a Mary Sue. She fills out a lot of the checkpoints.

Mysterious origins? Check.

Kills big bad on first try? Check.

Seems to have almost no flaws? Check.

It's sad really. Also, I'd like to see more of the other characters. You haven't fleshed them out so far, although I understand you've just started. You bring characters in and out randomly. I want to know what type of person, say, Moot is? Is he arrogant? Is he nice? Is he a crybaby? Wanna-be tough guy? I want to see more. We all know about Beth and how seemingly perfect she is. We all know that cats just want to eat mice. But what about the side characters?

---

So that's my review. Now, please don't get discouraged if my review seems overly negative. First, I do this because I want you to improve. You can't improve if everyone showers you with compliments. This story has potential, it just needs some fixing up.

And also, I'm a harsh critic in general, so don't worry about losing. Who knows? Maybe all three other judges will love this story and give you a perfect 90. But don't expect any 90's at all from me, because as I said, I'm harsh and a nitpicker. Maybe only a select few stories would get 85+ (I can only think up of three, maybe four, that would get a rating this high).

I hope you do great with writing your story and I honestly wish you the best!

Maraoone a dit :

Angels in the Sky by Bethdacat

Total Score: 58/90

Plot - 17/30
- It's bland, if I'm being honest with you. Also, tons of stuff that just goes unexplained. For example, I think a lot of time passed between chapter 1 and chapter 2 since you include a flashback, yet it's not clear whether this is true or not. Also, you mention saying nothing about Beth's secret. What is that? Also, it's really dumb for someone to say out loud 'Oh say everything but the secrets' because everyone's knee-jerk reaction in real life would be 'OOH OOH WHATS THE SECRET TELL ME TELL MEEEEE'. Make the dialogue smarter.

There's also including several in-game mechanics. I'll give you a pass on the TV, or the camera, or even the hearts, and seeing some random person's name floating above their head. But how does she know that Kura's an admin? How can she tell what Fluffy's tribe is? Does she access a profile with her mind? And also Chapter 1 quotes the tutor mouse word for word. At least alter a bit because it seems weird that she'd understand 'keyboard arrows' means 'walk'.

Grammar: - 11/20
- Sorry if the grade seems really low, but I've mentioned how I grade. 13-15 is when your grammar is perfect, but still same-o, same-o. It's incredibly hard to get 16-20 since that's for the cases when grammar actually enhances the story.

I gave you an 11 since there were several errors I noticed here. First, you misuse several words. There's a saying which explains why this is wrong.

Mark Twain - "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

Also, minor errors and stuff, but I usually give a pass for that.

And then there's the censoring for curses. Look, you either say the actual word or not. It's not nice seeing '@&*#' or '****' in a narrative.

Creativity - 15/20
- I actually gave you a few points here for adding cats. I have to admit, despite the fact that including cats as a villain seems so obvious, I don't see it often.

Also, I was so ticked off at the beginning because I assumed Beth was the chosen one, but apparently there's more. So one more point for that.

But really, I can tell that this is going to end with you annihilating the cats. There's a lot of cliches, but not too many. So you get a perfectly average score of 15. Yayy.

Organization: 8/10
- Deductions here for the ~~~FLASHBACK~~~ part (you should use a simple --- or -.-.- or really, anything but that combination of tildes and all-caps). Also, if you include author notes, put them before your story or after, and separate them by line breaks. Other than that though, it's OK. Easy to read, no walls of texts.

Characterization - 7/10
- Only a 7 because Beth appears to be a Mary Sue. She fills out a lot of the checkpoints.

Mysterious origins? Check.

Kills big bad on first try? Check.

Seems to have almost no flaws? Check.

It's sad really. Also, I'd like to see more of the other characters. You haven't fleshed them out so far, although I understand you've just started. You bring characters in and out randomly. I want to know what type of person, say, Moot is? Is he arrogant? Is he nice? Is he a crybaby? Wanna-be tough guy? I want to see more. We all know about Beth and how seemingly perfect she is. We all know that cats just want to eat mice. But what about the side characters?

---

So that's my review. Now, please don't get discouraged if my review seems overly negative. First, I do this because I want you to improve. You can't improve if everyone showers you with compliments. This story has potential, it just needs some fixing up.

And also, I'm a harsh critic in general, so don't worry about losing. Who knows? Maybe all three other judges will love this story and give you a perfect 90. But don't expect any 90's at all from me, because as I said, I'm harsh and a nitpicker. Maybe only a select few stories would get 85+ (I can only think up of three, maybe four, that would get a rating this high).

I hope you do great with writing your story and I honestly wish you the best!

gif
I melted for the little bit of negativity

omg.

i love that gif.

but :c

As I said, don't get discouraged. I'm generally harsh when judging. I'm the Simon Cowell of this competition : D (well, I doubt he uses emoticons often, but still). And it has potential. Just need to work on it. Sorry if I seemed like I hated it. I don't, I just want to point out all the flaws so you know what to work on as a writer.

Topic-430145
Name: "Angel in the Sky"
Written by: Bethdacat
Illustrated by: Anyone who makes fanart
Catagory: I

Let me just do this in bullet form:
Please point out any details I may have missed or gotten wrong.
I'm being 100% opinionated here so feel free to bash at me for any wrong details. :I

a dit :

PL: 13/30
1. It’s too common.
2. I’ve seen the same plot style in so many shows I’ve watched already.
3. Why did everyone suddenly faint when the fight ended if they were able to withstand the battle proper?
4. Why would you use the terms ‘lol’ and ‘rofl’ as verbs?
5. Chapter 6 is a big fat blur.
6. Why did Tig appear to Sonic but not to Beth?
7. I’m pretty sure emoticons don’t belong in dialogues.
8. Fluffy has clothing? I don’t remember any descriptions regarding what the mice are wearing.
9. How is she able to measure 3 feet with her eyes alone?
10. In Chapter 3, how did Beth get to the cat’s nose with her “skills” when she is both new and not a shaman?
11. When did Moot become her friend?
12. Don’t add in stupid and useless things like MEEPs.
13. How on Earth are they travelling from room to room?
14. Sydo never lols.
15. Why would you refer to Sonic as a thing?
16. What's the setting?

CR: Creativity 6/20
1. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen cats as the main conflict in TFM fanfics numerous times before.
2. There’s so much cliché.
3. Nothing surprises me.

GR: Grammar 9.5/20
1. You keep calling Beth either ‘it’ or ‘she’.
2. [url= http://garyes.stormloader.com/its.html]This[/url].
3. "Beth's heart was beating over one million beats per hour.” It’s a hyperbole of a hyperbole.
4. The subject-verb agreement is somewhat bad.
5. Word choice isn't very good.

OR: Organization 6.5/10
1. I got confused numerous times especially with the abnormally common “surprises” and the random flashback.
2. The ~’s are an eyesore.
3. Keep the author’s notes out; just explain them in-story.
4. I prefer separate lines for separate dialogues.
5. The $)@!^$)@$s are an eyesore.
6. The chapters are too short.

CH: Characterization 5/10
1. The main character is extremely cliché.
2. There are too many character intros and not enough character progression.
3. You keep background characters as supporting characters which isn’t right since background characters should stay in the background and not help with the story.
4. Why do you name background characters who may very well show up only once?
5. What do the characters look like? Do they have personalities?

TOTAL: 40/90

Angel in the Sky - Bethdacat
PL: Typical Transformice fanfic plot. Admins call on someone to save the world from cats. I've seen this so much. Please, remember that mice have other enemies than cats. Consider hawks and other birds that eat mice as well.
Why would an admin pick someone they don't even know, either? Why does Sydo have to ask her name? It'd be like picking a total stranger as a mod. You need to provide some sort of info as to why she was chosen. Maybe they had been watching her for a while now.
Moral of the story -- it's too cliched for me to even handle.
15/30

CR: See above. Not to mention your chapters are sooo short. While it's true chapters can be as short, or long, as you wish, you should atleast be able to jam out a couple of paragraphs.
Your writing is dry. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery dry. She did this. He did that. How do they feel while doing this? After a while you forget these details and it only pushes me away from reading.
12/20

GR: Your grammar leaves a lot to be desired. There's many places you forget a comma, or use the wrong tense of a word. Proofread before posting to the general public!
10/20

OR: Using ~~~ as separators looks pretty bad and childish. Use hyphens or different coloured text.
1/10

CH: Typical Mary Sue characters and the other ones that are in the background are completely uninteresting. Nothing about them makes me want to keep reading. Your MC is far too Mary Sue-ish as Mara pointed out.
5/10

42/90

So, now we're just waiting for Neko to post his review.

btw I really encourage everyone to join because, well, this is the one time that every fan story will be eligible. After this, I'd only include stories made for that month.

THIS IS A REMINDER FOR NEKO TO REVIEW. THANK YOU.

Also, bumping since the thread is pretty far down the list.

Bumping since I've updated the OP and added a list of special awards.

So is this like a free style kind of thing, or tfm related? (I didn't read rules since there is so many ;u;)