Travel Of Destiny (Pictures made from Cheeseformice Dressroom)

By AMouseTFM Special thanks to friends Doogal and Jamie for their liking of adventure ;)

CHARECTERS:

Paw:


Moonbeam:


Lillian:


Burk:



Introduction
Moonbeam and Paw are out in the city, where its easy to not see rats or mice from all of the people and their click- clacking shoes. Suddenly the worst thing in a mouse's life happened to the two friends, a little girl called Veronica snatches them up when they come out of an alley behind a restaurant. When Paw and Moonbeam get stuck in a cage, they don't know that two other mice are captive in it. Burk and a different mouse called Molen tell them why she snatches up mice, they have to run for it. Knick Knack is Veronica's pet cat, will they escape? What is going to happen? Will it end up being an enternal run from this ginger haired beast cat? Read Travel Of Destiny to find out!

Chapter 1
Moonbeam let her tiny oak coloured paws touch the cement behind Oreliano's Pizza, of course the most popular pizza place in NYC! ''Hey, Moonbeam, do you EVER wonder what its like to be up in those buildings?'' Paw blurted out as they climbed out of the dumbster. ''Oh, Ive been in buildings all the time. Mostly office buildings, they try to pour coffe on me when they sight me. Id say the worst fate of a mouse is being stuck in a office with 38 weak men and women trying to pour fresh latte's on you,'' Moonbeam replied without thinking of Paws question ''Veronica, Ive already told you three times young lady, I'm not going to tolerate you bringing anymore of those dirty alley mice home!'' Suddenly a woman's voice sounded in front of a little girl, the Veronica. ''But mom! Knick Knack is always bored of eating those pelets you give him!'' Veronica pushed back at her mother. ''Oh my Veronica, I think I left my wallet inside the restaurant! Stay here and talk to NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE!'' Barked Veronica's mother. The little girl turned and looked into the dark alley and seen Paw and Moonbeam walk by a box where they hid until the daylight would come. ''Knick Knack will be happy to see these yummy mice!'' Eeked Veronica and she dragged her legs into the alley and grabbed Moonbeam and paw by the tails. ''Ah! What the heck?! Moonbeam, are little kids supposed to act like this?!'' Screamed Paw, the girl stuck the two mice into her jacket, (which sadly, had zipppers on her pockets) and her mother returned like a flash of light very quickly.
''Ready to go home, Veronica?'' Happily replied her mother. ''Yes!'' Grinned Veronica as she looked to her pink pocket on her jacket and ran to her mothes car. ''Yes..'' She whispered to herself, grinning.
CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON

Can I give a small critique?

Sure .-.

"!?!?!" It's best to just use !? than !?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! as it distracts people from the story.

"''Ready to go home Veronica?'' Happily replied her mother. ''Yes!'' Grinned Veronica as she looked to her pocket and entered her mothers car. ''Yes..'' she replied to herself under her breath."

I personally would write it like this,
"Ready to go home, Veronica?"
"Yes!" Veronica happily replied to her mother. The girl grinned as she down looked at her pocket and stepped into her mother's car. "Yes. . ." She whispered to herself.

Well, I cant rewrite it at all, there is something wrong with it when I edit and it deletes the letter in front of it when I type something :P

Amousetfm a dit :

Well, I cant rewrite it at all, there is something wrong with it when I edit and it deletes the letter in front of it when I type something :P

Click insert on your computer keyboard if you're using windows. That'll fix it.

Done with the insert, also asking my friends if they want to add any new ideas to it, and Im kind of taking them so that its easier coming up what part should come next :) Also that Lilian is a main charecter and wont come until chapter 3
EDIT: My friend said shes doing chapter 2, Im going on vacation for 3 days to my aunts in Ohio, dont mind her, Doogalshaman is her name

Amousetfm a dit :

Done with the insert, also asking my friends if they want to add any new ideas to it, and Im kind of taking them so that its easier coming up what part should come next :) Also that Lilian is a main charecter and wont come until chapter 3
EDIT: My friend said shes doing chapter 2, Im going on vacation for 3 days to my aunts in Ohio, dont mind her, Doogalshaman is her name

Okay, but are you leaving tommorow James?

Doogalshaman a dit :

Okay, but are you leaving tommorow James?

Ya, you can start it tonight or tommorow morning, if Im still not here when chapter 2 is done do chapter 3 too

Amousetfm a dit :

Ya, you can start it tonight or tommorow morning, if Im still not here when chapter 2 is done do chapter 3 too

Kk, Ill think of something tonight
Edit: Got some ideas gonna write :P
NOTE: Do not critisize what I write, what I write will be put into the story as it is and if he said I can do it I can do it and its his story so I want to obey the rules guys and girls that read chapter 2 and posibly chapter 3

Chapter 2
''Man, its like, totaly crammed in here, and its blinding to see so much pink!'' Started Paw. ''Now, why do you think we are in a pocket?'' Madly suggested Moonbeam, remembering when they walked in front of the little girl knowing they were in sight of her range. As the car hit bumps, Moonbeam and Paw sat, or what they called trying to sit, in the small pocket that owned to Veronica's hot pink jacket. ''I dont know why this, Veronica, would wear a winter jacket in spring!'' Yelled Moonbeam angrily. Suddenly, the bumps and sharp turns stopped, as if they were frozen, frozen in time. This could not have been true that time was frozen, but that the car had stopped at their apartment building where Veronica, her older brother, and her parents lived. The girl danced to her room and opened a gold coloured cage, stuck Moonbeam and Paw in, and left the room half dark. ''Thats my food, you nasty little-'' Moonbeam broke in on the strangers fighting over a small peice of bread. ''Where are we, my sirs?'' Growled Moonbeam at the mice, which werent Paw and Moonbeam, but were Burk and Molen. Footsteps were coming from out of the room. Lights flickered on and the two mice behind Moonbeam and Paw seemed to be blinded. ''Knick Knack is mighty hungry, Meppers!'' Said Veronica as she picked up Molen. ''Haha Molen! I get most food since these two are going to be next! No one messes with a mouse that has a mini knife!'' Laughed Burk, pointing to Molen. As Veronica headed out of the room, the cage door was open, they made a run for it, they have never run faster than ever before. They stopped, they could hear Molen moaning and screaming in pain as a crunch started out in a different room. They all stared at each other then ran to the hallway in the other direction of the moaning Molen. What were they to do, they ran out under the door of the apartment and ran in an opening elevator. A bunch of humans were babbling on their iPhones and some others were, being, well, humans. ''Who are you anyways,'' Paw said as he stared at Burk. ''Burk, used to be in a pet shop, then that little snot face bought me and is trying to feed me to that beast.'' He said as the elevator door opened and they walked out of the lobby of the building, unoticed.
Chapter 3 is coming soon :)

Can I join the story?

Bethdacat a dit :

Can I join the story?

Hrmm, if so, you can, me and Amousetfm are neighbors and go to the same school, I can give him a quick call and see if I can make you an avatar and a name, unless you would like to make your name and avatar
Going back to story
Edit: You can join

Woah, long chapter doog, and ya, I told her that Beth could be a player, but have to be a girl

Mind this?

Bethan:

New charecter named Zelane


Im working on chapter 3

I like the creative names.......................................................................................................................
I use to make names like Natisha,Hedas,Utinias,Yushiro and others

I. . . Wait, how old are you two?

I don't really mind that look :3

Hes turning 13 in two months and Im already 13

CHAPTER 3 GOING TO BE MADE 15/12/2013 AT

a dit :

5 P.M

Satash a dit :

I. . . Wait, how old are you two?

............................That was a bit too ramatic

New change of plan, Amousetfm is coming back tommorow night to make chapter three :P
Edit: Amousetfm is now not doing the chapter until January