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[Fanfiction] Glitched
Haruhitastic
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#1
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  • the story behind the story
  • characters
  • chapter one
  • chapter two
Born of the idea of myself and Satash many a moon ago (dating back to at least 2012!), "Glitched" tells the story of various mice from over the lands of Atelier of Elisah,
The only one who knows what exactly is going on, and how to fight it, is a mouse called the Banished One.
The plot is still largely empty, and expect this to update slowly. I've rewritten the first chapter a bit, and will be rewriting the rest as I go.

sorry in advance if it sucks

P.S.: No, you can't be in it. The characters of this story have existed since 2012 and I ain't gonna replace 'em now.
Images coming soon. Gotta make 'em.

Som
The Silent. The Banished One.
Som is a mysterious mouse who has spent most of his life as the leader of a misfit tribe of rebel mice, bucking against the system of gathering cheese for the government. Som is quiet, thoughtful, super intelligent about the world he lives in, and only opens up to people he is close to.

Miya
Bubbly and cheerful, Miya (nicknamed Mayo by Som) is the total antithesis of her best friend. The third in command in their tribe, Miya typically does all of the backbreaking work. An advanced shaman, she has learned to master the art of building without the dreaded B planks which are causing the problems in their world.

Nic
The second in command of the misfit tribe, Nic is a brave mouse who is usually the mediator between Som and Miya in their thought processes.

Aly
???

Mein
???

Lyon
???

Maah
??

Kade
??

More soon...
The tribe's house felt stuffy to Kade, and he was tired of it. Stretching his arms and legs out, he decided to squeeze through the small mouse hole to the outside...but something was wrong. He could tell it the moment he set foot on the grassy knoll. The outside was empty. Normally, mice of all sizes and genders would frolick around, playing and talking.
But nothing. Not a soul.
He also noticed the smell of grass and flora was nonexistant, and that was also out of the ordinary. There was no scent in the air at all even. No flowers, no fresh cut grass or even the smell of dirt.
Kade decidedly wandered for a while, miles and miles away from the peaceful abode of his tribe, until the sight of a mouse finally caught his eye. He scampered up to it, staring into it's eyes. It didn't seem to move a muscle, not even blink. After a few moments he decided to finally touch it's paw, realising it was rough, like concrete. Had the mouse been turned to stone? It was a light gray, sure, but he merely assumed that it was it's fur colour.
Ignoring the mouse and deciding he could figure out more about it later, he decided to make the best of his seemingly lonely day.

Kade went off into the forest to practice his shamaning skills. It was never his strong suit and he wanted to work on his building abilities before deciding to go out and help his fellow mice in their hunt. He smiled as he powered himself up, his black markings appearing on his fur and the glow of his feather as it appeared lit the growing darkness surrounding him. He began to play with a few planks that he had conjured from the trees, making various V-plank builds. When he decided to practice some more simple and practical builds, he started with a B plank, but he noticed that the plank began to shake, and shake, until a red-furred mouse found itself born from the anchor in the middle of the wood.
Every hair was standing tall, and its tail swished back and forth angrily. It bared it's surprisingly long fangs; and it's eyes, black and beady, scanned the area until the fixed on the mouse in front of it. Kade walked backwards and found himself tripping over one of his small boxes, falling onto his back as the creature lurched. Whimpering, he held up his paw and tried his hardest to summon a cannon, but he couldn't. A small, white spark came out, but it was enough to scare the mouse into the other direction.
"What the hell was that?" he whispered, sitting up and brushing his back off of the grass he had just picked up. He watched as the red mouse scampered off in the other direction, and his eyes narrowed in simultaneous confusion and curiosity. He released it by summoning a red dot, but had something happened in the world that would cause that?
Standing, Kade realised he only had a single option if he wanted answers: he had to speak to the Banished One.

The Banished One went by many names, the most common of them in recent years was "Som." Som was an older mouse, older than most of the adventurers out there, but still limber enough to do the kinds of things the whippersnappers only dreamed of.
He lived in a small straw hut, miles and miles away from the forest where all of the adventurers played and practiced, isolated from nearly everyone. He usually didn't have visitors, save for a girl named Miya who would visit him every day. But when he heard a knock on the door and opened it, he found that rather than the red-haired girl who seemed to change clothes every day, he was greeted by a brown-furred mouse with a straw hat.
"Who are you?" Som questioned snidely. He didn't particularly care if someone stopped by or not, but nothing pissed him off more than people who he didn't know coming by and disturbing his peace.
"I'm Kade..." the mouse's voice was shaky, just like the rest of his body. "A-Are you the...Banished One?"
"I don't like that name," came Som's snappy reply.
"What do I call you then?" The mouse seemed to draw closer, attempting to come inside. Som firmly stood where he was.
"Anything you want, just don't call me the Banished One."
"C-Can I come inside?"
"Depends." Now the mouse seemed to begin to cry. He wasn't sure if it was for show, or if he was genuinely upset, but he decided to cave and let the mouse in. Som took a seat at the small table in the corner of his house, and stared right at Kade. "Why are you here? Who told you about me?"
"I saw...a thing. A giant red mouse...thing. And it was angry and it tried to murder me, or s-something."
Som crossed his fingers in front of his face, his eyes fixated on the window across from the table. He had noticed the environment around him and his home had changed recently, but he couldn't pinpoint why until last night -- when one of the "things" Kade mentioned scratched at his door and shrieked. Something had glitched in the magic stream, or perhaps some evil force wreaked havoc with it. It was bound to be that last one, there had never been a glitch in the stream as long as the magic had existed in their world, and surely it wouldn't start now.
But he didn't want to scare the young mouse, and a part of him didn't trust him. Then again, who would trust a stranger who just showed up on their doorstep suddenly? Nobody with any common sense.
He would need to get in touch with Miya somehow. She always knew how to get to the end of this sort of thing.
"Who sent you?" Som asked abruptly. The two had been quiet for a few minutes, while he mused and Kade stood by the door. Kade stepped closer when Som asked his question, yet remained silent. "Are you going to answer or not? I need to know."
"When I was young, someone told me you had all the answers to the questions in our land, so I figured maybe you could help me this time around..."
"I can but it's going to be more than just you needing help. Go into town and let people know not to use their magic, their totems, anything. Can you do that?" Kade nodded. "Then go. When I need to see you again I'll find my way into town."
Miya was huddled up in her little bed in the corner of her hut, buried in quilts as she shivered and her fur stood on end . For some reason today she had been cold, which was usually her sixth sense telling her something, somewhere was wrong. But what exactly? She just wasn't sure. For now, she had to warm up.
As she closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep, she could hear frantic knocking coming from the other side. She decided to ignore it and continue her attempts to slumber, but the person had found their way to her window and was now rapping at it, calling her name.
She unburied her head and sprung up, her eyes darting straight to the window. Her friend Som was knocking on the glass pane, calling for her to come out. Grunting to herself, she pushed herself from her bed and opened the window up, staring him right square in the eye.
"To be The Silent, you sure yell a lot," she remarked, her eyes narrowed in mock-anger. She could never be angry at him, he meant far too much to her.
"The Silent" was the name he had introduced himself with when they had met two years ago, but it had since changed in the various circles of the adventurers in their land. She made jokes about it since day one, and still did even if she was the only one to call him that now. It made her feel special, in a way, to be the only one who called him that. "What's going on?"
"I think there's a glitch."
Miya sat down on her bed and Som leaned against the wall, telling her all about some sort of red-furred mouse that had been appearing when people summoned B-planks, and how he was sure there was a glitch in the magic stream. She had been thankful she never used them any more, but many people still relied on them for their builds.
This was a problem. A big, big problem.
"What can you do about it?" she whispered, her eyes wandering up to meet his. She could see the worry in them, and it only worsened the situation's outlook for her. For Som to be worried was a big problem. He always had a can-do attitude; he was the kind of guy who could do anything he put his mind on.
But if even he didn't know what they were to do, their world would be sunk.
"We'll figure it out," was all that he offered in reply, reaching over to touch her shoulder as a means of comfort.
"Should I warn people?" she questioned softly.
"That's why I came into town."
Her eyes fell to the ground as the prospect of telling all her friends what kind of danger they were in came to mind. Even if they told the townsfolk, someone would still not know and do it anyway. They couldn't spread the word to every land in time.
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
Miya jumped at the shrill sound, and Som quickly grabbed her paw and pulled her out the window, dragging her towards the forest. "It's one of them," he murmured into her ear. "I recognize that sound."
"Well for Cheesus' sake, Som, don't pull me away." She jerked her paw back and stared him in the face defiantly. "If my house is going to be under attack I at least want to protect it and get some of my stuff." She didn't allow Som to reply, and ran off back towards her house. She could hear him saying "fine," and could hear the footsteps behind her; but she honestly didn't care whether he followed or not. She had things in her home that were terribly important to her.
When she came to the front of her house, she saw the creature. Small black eyes and red fur that was pin-straight.
"More than you expected, eh?" Som whispered in her ear, keeping her close to him. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, allowing her shaman magic to take over. Her arms and head glowed white, the colour she had chose when she was old enough to use her magic for the first time, and her eyes narrowed as she aimed at it. Squeezing them shut, she launched an assault of cannons and boxes at the animal, until it ran off yelping and crying in pain. "That'll do for now. Grab your things." Miya offered Som a nod and ran into her house, grabbing her three most important possessions -- a book given to her by her grandmother about shaman magic, her crown hairclip, and a pendant given to her by a secret admirer when she was in school.
"I have everything," she said softly, clutching at the pendant and running towards Som. "Let's go now."

The dark grey clouds above the two began to spit rain, leading Miya to huddle closer to Som as they made their way into town. She had been bothered by how quiet he was on their trek, and when she tried to speak with him all she had gotten in response was a grunt, or a simple "k." Not even the other syllable. Just simply "k." He was the Silent, for sure, but for him to be this silent? It was bad.
"Som, are you mad at me?" she wondered aloud, praying she had said it quiet enough he hadn't heard. Som offered no response, so she assumed either he hadn't, or was just ignoring her.
The wind was cold as it blew, and Miya moved even closer to Som; to the point her face was now buried in the fur of his neck. He seemed to pay no mind to how close she had gotten, not even flinching when she tightened her grip on his chest to burrow further into him. Suddenly, they stopped, and Miya let out a little squeak when she bumped feet with her companion.
"Go in here and tell Aly and Mein what's going on."
Som's voice was lifeless and flat as he pointed a stubby, furry finger at the door.
"Uh..."
Miya's eyes narrowed as she trailed off and looked at the shabby looking door in front of her. With no lights on, it looked like the little shop where Aly and Mein produced their artwork had been abandoned. She tiptoed to the window and peered in, noting the lack of papers on the desks and the cups that had been tossed onto the floor, letting the brushes spill out. "This isn't good."
"You're telling me," Som replied, his voice still emotionless as he prodded at Miya's shoulder. When her attention was his, he motioned to a large block of buildings a mile away that looked demolished. Bricks, wood, furniture and clothes littered the street, and a family of mice stood in front of what she assumed was their home, weeping.
Without another word, the two rushed down to see what had happened. The sounds of the sadness that filled the air killed Miya inside, and she tried her best to block the cries from entering her ears. So focused on ignoring it all, she hadn't noticed Som had ran off to aid them.
"This... monster came into our house when we were trying to fix a wall," choked out the wife, who held their young child against her person.
"How were you trying to fix it?" Som responded, the tone of his voice remaining listless.
"The planks with the red...I never was much of a shaman...I don't remember the name. I was more of a gatherer."
"I see."
Miya wanted to reach and squeeze Som's paw, as some form of comfort for herself, but refrained. He hated almost all forms of physical contact, and she found herself unsure how she even managed to hug close to him on their short journey here. Gulping, she swallowed the lump in her throat and asked the woman, "did you see the mice who own this art studio today?"
"Aly and Mein? Yes, they're close friends of ours. They're out of town, at an art contest."
"Thank you."
Grasping at Som's arm, Miya pulled him away from the family and got close to his ear. Still, with all of the sights they had taken in, he wasn't fazed; but his eyes were glassy. The look he typically had when he was deep in thought.
"Well?" she asked.
"Well what?" Som snapped out in response. Miya didn't want to press further in speaking to him
"Well what... do we do now? Do we find Aly and Mein? Or do we make our way there while getting the others?"
"What others?"
She rolled her eyes. How daft was he that he forgot the rest of the members of their tribe. Then again, he was always a loner. "Maah, Nic, Lyon? Do I need to list them all?"
"No. But the others are further away. Nic is the only one still in town."
"Then let's go to him first. Three heads are better than two. One serves as a tie breaker."

Dernière modification le 1449247440000
Sea
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1449121140000
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#2
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beautiful *-* im thinking that it all happened with a b plank (i might be wrong but haha)
good job with the first chapter, looking forward to the second one
Haruhitastic
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1449246900000
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Chapter two:
Miya was huddled up in her little bed in the corner of her hut, buried in quilts as she shivered and her fur stood on end . For some reason today she had been cold, which was usually her sixth sense telling her something, somewhere was wrong. But what exactly? She just wasn't sure. For now, she had to warm up.
As she closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep, she could hear frantic knocking coming from the other side. She decided to ignore it and continue her attempts to slumber, but the person had found their way to her window and was now rapping at it, calling her name.
She unburied her head and sprung up, her eyes darting straight to the window. Her friend Som was knocking on the glass pane, calling for her to come out. Grunting to herself, she pushed herself from her bed and opened the window up, staring him right square in the eye.
"To be The Silent, you sure yell a lot," she remarked, her eyes narrowed in mock-anger. She could never be angry at him, he meant far too much to her.
"The Silent" was the name he had introduced himself with when they had met two years ago, but it had since changed in the various circles of the adventurers in their land. She made jokes about it since day one, and still did even if she was the only one to call him that now. It made her feel special, in a way, to be the only one who called him that. "What's going on?"
"I think there's a glitch."
Miya sat down on her bed and Som leaned against the wall, telling her all about some sort of red-furred mouse that had been appearing when people summoned B-planks, and how he was sure there was a glitch in the magic stream. She had been thankful she never used them any more, but many people still relied on them for their builds.
This was a problem. A big, big problem.
"What can you do about it?" she whispered, her eyes wandering up to meet his. She could see the worry in them, and it only worsened the situation's outlook for her. For Som to be worried was a big problem. He always had a can-do attitude; he was the kind of guy who could do anything he put his mind on.
But if even he didn't know what they were to do, their world would be sunk.
"We'll figure it out," was all that he offered in reply, reaching over to touch her shoulder as a means of comfort.
"Should I warn people?" she questioned softly.
"That's why I came into town."
Her eyes fell to the ground as the prospect of telling all her friends what kind of danger they were in came to mind. Even if they told the townsfolk, someone would still not know and do it anyway. They couldn't spread the word to every land in time.
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
Miya jumped at the shrill sound, and Som quickly grabbed her paw and pulled her out the window, dragging her towards the forest. "It's one of them," he murmured into her ear. "I recognize that sound."
"Well for Cheesus' sake, Som, don't pull me away." She jerked her paw back and stared him in the face defiantly. "If my house is going to be under attack I at least want to protect it and get some of my stuff." She didn't allow Som to reply, and ran off back towards her house. She could hear him saying "fine," and could hear the footsteps behind her; but she honestly didn't care whether he followed or not. She had things in her home that were terribly important to her.
When she came to the front of her house, she saw the creature. Small black eyes and red fur that was pin-straight.
"More than you expected, eh?" Som whispered in her ear, keeping her close to him. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, allowing her shaman magic to take over. Her arms and head glowed white, the colour she had chose when she was old enough to use her magic for the first time, and her eyes narrowed as she aimed at it. Squeezing them shut, she launched an assault of cannons and boxes at the animal, until it ran off yelping and crying in pain. "That'll do for now. Grab your things." Miya offered Som a nod and ran into her house, grabbing her three most important possessions -- a book given to her by her grandmother about shaman magic, her crown hairclip, and a pendant given to her by a secret admirer when she was in school.
"I have everything," she said softly, clutching at the pendant and running towards Som. "Let's go now."

The dark grey clouds above the two began to spit rain, leading Miya to huddle closer to Som as they made their way into town. She had been bothered by how quiet he was on their trek, and when she tried to speak with him all she had gotten in response was a grunt, or a simple "k." Not even the other syllable. Just simply "k." He was the Silent, for sure, but for him to be this silent? It was bad.
"Som, are you mad at me?" she wondered aloud, praying she had said it quiet enough he hadn't heard. Som offered no response, so she assumed either he hadn't, or was just ignoring her.
The wind was cold as it blew, and Miya moved even closer to Som; to the point her face was now buried in the fur of his neck. He seemed to pay no mind to how close she had gotten, not even flinching when she tightened her grip on his chest to burrow further into him. Suddenly, they stopped, and Miya let out a little squeak when she bumped feet with her companion.
"Go in here and tell Aly and Mein what's going on."
Som's voice was lifeless and flat as he pointed a stubby, furry finger at the door.
"Uh..."
Miya's eyes narrowed as she trailed off and looked at the shabby looking door in front of her. With no lights on, it looked like the little shop where Aly and Mein produced their artwork had been abandoned. She tiptoed to the window and peered in, noting the lack of papers on the desks and the cups that had been tossed onto the floor, letting the brushes spill out. "This isn't good."
"You're telling me," Som replied, his voice still emotionless as he prodded at Miya's shoulder. When her attention was his, he motioned to a large block of buildings a mile away that looked demolished. Bricks, wood, furniture and clothes littered the street, and a family of mice stood in front of what she assumed was their home, weeping.
Without another word, the two rushed down to see what had happened. The sounds of the sadness that filled the air killed Miya inside, and she tried her best to block the cries from entering her ears. So focused on ignoring it all, she hadn't noticed Som had ran off to aid them.
"This... monster came into our house when we were trying to fix a wall," choked out the wife, who held their young child against her person.
"How were you trying to fix it?" Som responded, the tone of his voice remaining listless.
"The planks with the red...I never was much of a shaman...I don't remember the name. I was more of a gatherer."
"I see."
Miya wanted to reach and squeeze Som's paw, as some form of comfort for herself, but refrained. He hated almost all forms of physical contact, and she found herself unsure how she even managed to hug close to him on their short journey here. Gulping, she swallowed the lump in her throat and asked the woman, "did you see the mice who own this art studio today?"
"Aly and Mein? Yes, they're close friends of ours. They're out of town, at an art contest."
"Thank you."
Grasping at Som's arm, Miya pulled him away from the family and got close to his ear. Still, with all of the sights they had taken in, he wasn't fazed; but his eyes were glassy. The look he typically had when he was deep in thought.
"Well?" she asked.
"Well what?" Som snapped out in response. Miya didn't want to press further in speaking to him
"Well what... do we do now? Do we find Aly and Mein? Or do we make our way there while getting the others?"
"What others?"
She rolled her eyes. How daft was he that he forgot the rest of the members of their tribe. Then again, he was always a loner. "Maah, Nic, Lyon? Do I need to list them all?"
"No. But the others are further away. Nic is the only one still in town."
"Then let's go to him first. Three heads are better than two. One serves as a tie breaker."
Riiazu
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#4
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Amazing fanfic!
*Stalks this thread*
Satash
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#5
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"To be The Silent, you sure yell a lot," she remarked, her eyes narrowed in mock-anger.
My favourite quote so far.

I hope other people will begin reading this lovely gem. I can't wait how you'll twist things up from the original prompt!
Winterflurry
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#6
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Mmmh, very nice. I want to read more *^*
Puffpapa
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#7
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can't wait to read more of this masterpiece!!
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