my head hurts, I think I’m dying please call 911

wtf? how are u just going to say I’m fine and how it’s normal! I’m dying!

alright, whatever. you obviously don’t care about me so how about I just runaway.

*waits to be found*

*gets found but acts like I never wanted to be found*

(Basically what I’d been doing on this game)
- - -

hi, ok if you’re so unlucky to see this then hello, I updated this extremely recently I guess. I’m a happier, healthier and brighter person.

Now alright, I don’t mean to make this into a over-dramatic suicide message, and it isn’t. I’m only bored and I came home from school early and I have a bit of free time on my hands. I’d only decided to step into a memory land for a few hours, and I started by listening to some older music that I used to love. That music brought me back to places, to smells, and to things that I used to do when I was younger. A certain song brought me back to this, memories of THIS, memories of some of the games I used to play too. I couldn’t help but to smile and to visit forums and look at more memories and dumb things I did.

Let’s start off by saying, I feel bad for everyone I met on this game, I don’t know which braincell shut down in your head when you met me.

I was sick, there was something wrong with my head. I’d admit, I did a lot of things for the benefit of me. I know I don’t know any of you, and none of you know me and how it is “just a game,” but this game got me through so many obstacles in my everyday life. I was addicted to living some sort of false life because I just couldn’t face reality. I took everything serious, every little thing and exaggerated because I liked the feeling of being involved and being in the center of something. Once again, I was sick. I did things to make myself feel good, not worrying about the younger people that played that could’ve been affected. I didn’t care about anyone but I cared too much at the same time. Once I came to the realization on how much this game was changing me as a person, I became severely depressed because I knew exactly how much this game was affecting me but I still chose to play it. Everyday for hours until my head would hurt. I told like 5 people on how I was feeling, I remember those days sitting down on my mother’s bed with my laptop on my lap bawling while typing away to people on the game on how I felt. I couldn’t just up and leave, I was addicted and I couldn’t find my way out. I’d tell myself everyday that I quit, I’d also tell all of my friends that I quit (This wasn’t for attention). But everyday I couldn’t help but to play again, it was just too hard to leave something I’d known for too long. So I decided to stay, and every minute, that game was destroying who I was slowly and slowly, my grades would fall and I couldn’t care to catch them, I’d deny all of my friend’s plans until they never asked me for anything. I’d stay up at like 3 on school nights playing THIS without finishing any chapters of my hw, not studying at all, doing everything in 1st hour and I’d not understand any of the material. I was ugly, I didn’t care for myself and I’d got more and more excepted with the thought of death.

Right on my birthday, June 10th, I left. Well actually, right before my birthday. Of course I didn’t just leave automatically, but that was the day I really started to stop for good, my playtime decreased dramatically and I was on the road of living a healthier lifestyle. How’d I finally get the courage to leave after a full year of trying? Something hit me, it hit me that nothing matters there. I’m practically doing this to myself, it was like I wanted to be sad and coming up with excuses to make myself cry at nights. I was so deep in the sad phase that it was all I knew. I don’t know anyone on that game and none of them knows me. I realized that there is hope, a lot of hope. I just need to close the tab! (Lmfao, it sounds so easy!). All jokes aside, I realized that there’s no way it’s worth feeling things and emotions through a screen. Like I said, there was lots of hope for me. I just needed to apply it.

When school started, my inactivity increased a lot because I really started to focus. I barely passed last year, and my parents certainly made it seem like I did more than just fail. I learned to be socal (finally) and I learned to live healthy, to laugh and smile. I currently am rocking it in school, because I am now facing reality and what I am.

Did you get a new phone?
-No, I blocked all contact from you guys ranging from social media’s, iMessage, deleted Kik, WhatsApp too, and everything but I also deleted your numbers so I wouldn’t have to be distracted again… sorry.

Are you going to visit anytime soon?
-Funny story, I broke my computer (not a lie this time, if it was, I’d still be playing) and the “Enter” key and some other keys are dysfunctional because I may have spilled water on my laptop purposely a month ago? I have another computer though, if I’m really bored then yeah.

THANK YOU for shaping me into the person I am now
THANK YOU for letting me learn, and grow as a person. This is a life lesson
THANK YOU for making me laugh and smile when people didn’t do that in real life sometimes
THANK YOU for the people who still stuck by my side, those are the real people and you are truly special for that.