EXCUSE ME BUT HETEROPHOBIA DOES EXIST YOU FUCKING PIECE OF IGNORANCE AND I HAVE AN ANECDOTE TO PROVE IT SO YOU'LL STOP BEING SUCH A BIGOT, I'M INTOLERANT TO YOUR OPINION BUT I'M NOT A BIGOT. SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN YOU MISOGYNISTIC HETERO-HATING GARBAGE.

One day I was at the mall and I had just walked from the store Hollister, both of my hands were full with shopping bags from my spree. Today was a crowded day and I saw many couples walking past me holding hands, it made me extremely happy. As I walked down the corridor, bags in hand, I came across what looked like a gay couple. Two adorable boys, one with blonde hair, and one with brown hair, locking arms with each other.

Me: Wow you guys are so cute, it must take a lot of courage to do that in public!

Blonde gay boy: Shut up you hetero cissy.

I thought maybe I had misheard him or he was joking so I let out a bit of a nervous chuckle, it was so weird, I thought ALL gay guys were easy-going and feminine, these boys were probably fake gays.

Brown-haired gay boy: You were shopping at Hollister? Wow, how disgustingly hetero of you.

Me: Excuse me? All I did was call you cute, please at least say thank you.

Just then they both knocked my many bags out of my hands and they went tumbling onto the disease-ridden floor with a thud, a crowd was starting to form around all three of us now, I didn't fancy the attention.

Large African-American woman in crowd: Pick up this beautiful young lady's bags!

Brown haired gay boy: I thought Harambe was shot!

There were gasps coming from inside of the crowd, I didn't know what to do, the large African-American woman was starting to break out into tears.

Large African-American woman in crowd: HARAMBE WAS MY FATHER YOU IGNORANT FOOL!

Both gay boys: *Evil chuckles*

That was when I had a great idea, I decided to tell these devilish gay pricks off with an improvised monologue.

Me: What you're doing isn't okay, these people have feelings too just like you. I'm sorry if you didn't want to be called cute, maybe that was a bad thing to say to two strangers I'd never met before, but these people did nothing to you, why are you doing this?

Blonde gay boy: Because we were put on this Earth to do Satan's work, that's why we're gay in the first place!!

Crowd: *Gasps all around*

Suddenly, I remembered my exorcist training from when I was 15 years old, it had been years since I'd practiced the art, but now was the time I needed it most.

Me: EVIL SPIRITS BE GONE YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE NOW!

Both gay boys: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

The boys left a smell of arsenic as they disappeared into dust, the crowd cheered, whistled, and applauded me as they lifted me up off of the ground and into a wave of happiness, we trampled the demons' ashes and partied the night away, it was the one of the best days of my life.

So the next time you decide to be an asshole and say that heterophobia doesn't exist, think of this story, thanks.