it's almost time for the big occasion, kiddies. buckle up, for we shall be heading to a land filled with spectacular sights and unseen wonders.

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO BE BANNED BEFORE I receive the almighty permaban? i can't even count the amount of game bans i've already received, i bet the number is atrociously large.

press a to pray to the stock photo gods. they're the only deities who are worthy of honest worship.

a message to the ignorant lads who state that i am a pedophile: that word is rather vulgar and unequipped to describe my true nature. i am no pedophile, they are filthy scum, the lowest of the low. i refer to myself as a "child enthusiast" for that term fits me better. that will be all.

don't hesitate to contact me. call me on that telephone, my sweet baby girl. we haven't spoken yet but i can already tell you're almost as beautiful as me, although i will always be #1 in that category. trust me when i say that you'll appreciate my authentic magnetic charm. i am the most charismatic man that your peasant eyes shall ever rest upon.

please, feel free to step inside my modest domicile. it may not be pretentious but it is certainly cozy and spacious enough for the two of us to live perfectly comfortable lives together.