Welp, I'm starting a clean break now.
Sorry about my last post, (god I hope no one saw it) and lucky to say that I'm pretty sure almost none of my friends care. That may be good, perhaps, since recently I have been a little... different. Ever since I moved, (almost a month now) I feel just overwhelmingly sad and it's hard for me to talk without periods in the end of my sentences, or just plain caps. I also regret not going on transformice often but I just can't, for a many number of reasons. Don't think I'm depressed though, and if I am, well....there were worst days. And btw if you just happen to stumble on this profile, and if you care, which I am also sure many people can't do, I am not suicidal or planning to kill myself. Geez. I have so much things I want to do, work for Disney as an artist, go to Disneyland in California,(all those disneys tho) and just live a long good life reading fantasy books and crying tears. Because that's what I do a lot. I have so so much I want to try and I don't want to give it away. I, however, am scared of dying. I wanted to live forever when I was younger, but ever since my class read Tuck Everlasting that is not the way to go. Im scared of just...not existing. Of not seeing how the story all ends, to not see my family, and I'm just terrified to think that I will become nothing. Only at night, though, when the spirits come to haunt me. Sometimes I wonder if magic is good or bad after all. If you read this extremely long message,well, I'm pretty emotional at the moment because I just left most of my heart back at my past life. Now I'm a new person, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to be. I left my friends, my future, and a beautiful school for seven years, a school I know how to navigate through when I feel like hiding, a school where I knew most of my teachers, who were so so nice to all of us. I miss that. But I'm not sure if I will miss that country. I'm now living in my birth country, and all I can say it's gorgeous. Beautiful lush jungles everywhere I can see and the number of 7-11's I see! 25! And I was here maybe less than a month. Those slurpies are my dream. And now spilling my personal lives, I can actually know the friends who care about me. Well, most probably don't know I write in atelier so, I can't really blame them. And if you actually read the whole thing and you are my friend, well all I can say is thank you tank you thank you for caring enough to check. I probably will be back on transformice because it's my gateway to another world where I'm more confident. I'm not so sure anymore. And what I'm going to say is so mushy enough to make people spit blood. Har har.
ପ(๑•̀ुᴗ•̀ु)* ॣ৳৸ᵃᵑᵏ Ꮍ৹੫ᵎ *ॣ
Gosh, that innocence makes me jealous. But yeah, I wanted to say thank you to those who read and care. And I don't want your f*cking pity. And if it's my school friends who read this,
(゜Д゜;) hi.
I don't really care anymore. But don't worry,I don't curse with my mouth. Just inside my head at the enemies who I wish I could forgive. But nahhhhh life happens.
So yeah.
My profile story.
^^^^
Gosh damn it's long. o3o

Update (30 min later lmao): Oh, im also done with love and crushes. It's only something I can admire in people, especially if they find their soulmates. Just saying. Because people say love is bound to be important.

Update 2 (1 minute after update 1): Art is beautiful. No matter what form or shape it appears in, it's beautiful. Wish I could express that in my drawings. Sadly, I am just a beginner. And maybe I am like cloth, patching myself up to someone new. I don't really like the edges though.

Update 3 (30 seconds after update 2): I wish I could be simple again. My greatest wish is to make people laugh.

August 8th, 2017: I know i said I'll start a clean break but truly, i cant. I dont want to blame it on "depression", or "anxiety", because i dont know if its that. Im scared. I'm avoiding transformice, my parents, and i only keep in touch with one friend. My past is catching up. All my humiliations and regrets. I dont know what to do. Help. HELP.
im scared.
At least no one can see this page. I know for a reason that my friends dont bother to check. Im all alone.

Oct 1st, 2017: Well. It's been at least one and a half months and I have started a new school in my country. Everything I have known is changed and all I seem to do there is to get humiliated. My birthday is tomorrow on October 2nd and its a freaking school day. GREAT. At least there is one friend who will care for me there. I would give anything, [I]anything[/I] to go back from where I all started but life doesn't work that way. I'll try to play transformice but truly, of all the friends I had in there, only one. One. Contacted me. Thank you Polandomice for caring and I really truly hope you don't quit. Don't do what I did, because you will live to regret it. I don't know if I will post this daily. I might out of a fit of despair delete everything presented to me and block it out of my mind. Because that's what I seem to do lately. To my next post, we will meet again.