This is a fanfic about Namine Ritsu, and I wrote this late last year. My writing style has changed since and I might not ever write fanfiction again, but here this is. It didn't really get any attention, so I want to know how it is.

Warning: If you can't stand "damn" I suggest you don't read this. Also, something very bad happens to Ritsu. If you would hate to see Ritsu suffer, don't read either. With that, I leave you to my most upsetting story so far. Also, "UTAU" would refer to the Utauloids.

For the UTAU living in the houses along the streets near the Vocaloid Mansion, 3:00PM was the most dreaded time of the day.

Why?

At 3:00PM, Namine Ritsu came home from school.

As usual, he slammed the door shut, threw his shoes off (hitting a vase that Kasane Teto had given him, not that he cared, it wasn't like the damn thing broke), stormed upstairs to his room, collapsed into his bed and sobbed.

It was obvious as to why the other UTAU dreaded 3:00PM. The noise created was…considerably loud.

As for why Ritsu did that every day, he himself didn't know.

All he knew was that he had been bullied since he was 6. Bullied for his cross dressing, the fact that he looked so feminine.

And it only got worse as he grew up. Worse and worse and worse…until he finally got out of middle school. Luckily for Ritsu, no one in the high school knew him. Of course, it wouldn't be long before they did. Seeing as how he was…so strange, so different in more ways that one, he would have made the headlines of gossip that week. He could see his schoolmates-to-be staring at him as he walked past, some giggling, others like the Vocaloids trying to approach him, to make friends with him. Because "it was the right thing to do", to quote the popular Hatsune Miku.

The only thing was that this time Ritsu wasn't the victim of bullying.

He was the bully.

The one who responded to Miku's kind words with "There's no need to act like you care," and a cold, hard slap in the face. The one who had punched Len when he tried to reason with Ritsu. The one who kicked Rin in the gut when she yelled at him. He liked it. It was…exhilarating, bringing pain to others.

Ritsu ended up having to see the counsellor every day. A "session" usually consisted of him throwing things around, pretending that he was the only person in the room, completely ignoring the counsellor and dismissing himself once he had his fun.

Next thing the school did was to call his parents. Not that he had any. Ashamed that she had given birth to such an abnormal child, not able to "cope" anymore, Ritsu's mother had killed herself on the day before his 12th birthday. His father had "put up" with him for one year before leaving without a word on his 13th birthday. Miss them? Certainly, Ritsu didn't. It wasn't like they had ever come to him, kissed him and whispered," I love you,". It wasn't like they had tucked him into bed. It wasn't like they had come to him when he was crying after a day of being bullied.

The good thing was that Ritsu had discovered UTAU around the time when the school was looking into his family background. Entering the competition, he had (despite his rudeness) won the judges over and joined the singers, relocating to the UTAU street (where the others took care of him/gave him basic human rights). Coldly, he had rejected any advances of friendship, yet not daring to hurt them for fear of being kicked out. Due to this, trusting that the UTAU would change him, the school decided to wait and see.

Eventually, the UTAU…changed him…in a way. They acted as friends to the him. Friends that were unconsciously showing Ritsu what he lost when he slapped Miku that day. Scared. Ritsu was scared.

Scared of what he had done.

Scared of what he planned to do.

Scared of what he would do in the future.

Scared of what he had become.

Scared of the fact that he was now what had made his earlier years a nightmare.

Scared of his knowledge that he was a bully.

Scared of his victims.

Scared of the possibility that they, like him, might turn into bullies one day due to his influence.

And it would have been his fault.

Yet Ritsu continued with his bullying ways simply because he didn't think that there was any hope of salvation from the nightmare he had found himself in. After all, bullying, to him, was normalcy. It was part of his daily life, etched into his brain permanently like his songs were. All his feelings: his fear, his hate of himself, his sorrow; were packed into his voice, causing the songs he delivered to be emotionally strong and powerful. Yet, increasingly, Ritsu found himself in a bad mood as he reached home, flinging himself onto his bed and sobbing, even if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

He wondered why.

Moving himself off his bed, wiping his tears away with a loosely clenched fist, Ritsu sat down in front of his writing table. Seeing as how not doing homework was part of his daily regime, as was not listening in class and not writing anything during exams, it looked relatively new. Feeling an urge to do something, ANYTHING, Ritsu began to look through the many drawers. To his surprise, he found a small, folded note in one of them. Unfolding it, he saw that it was a poem he had written to (and given to) his father a few months after his mother's death.


Roses are red, violets are blue
I hate it, it's so common;
I like this more:
Roses are green, violets are grey
Nothing in my life is ordinary
Roses are green, violets are grey
I wonder why I am so strange
Roses are green, violets are grey
Why will no one just accept me?
Roses are green, violets are grey
Is it because I'm not like you?
Roses are green, violets are grey
Well that's sad 'cause I WON'T CHANGE
Roses are green, violets are grey
I like how I am so, well, TOO BAD.

At the bottom of the poem was a note from his father. Two simple words written in dark blue ink with a slight cursive.

The words: Good, then.

That was it. Small areas of wetness began to form on the paper as Ritsu broke down, crying his heart out. So cold. To his complaint which doubled as a desperate cry to be loved, his father only had two heartless, emotionless words to offer.

Good, then.

Messed up. His childhood, no, his WHOLE DAMN LIFE was SO MESSED UP. Somehow, Ritsu just wanted it all to end. He had done so much wrong, hurt so many people, and endured so much pain…

It had to end.

At 3:00PM the next day, the UTAU did not hear that noise which they were so used to. Come to think of it, Kasane Teto thought as she rung Ritsu's doorbell, she had not seen him head out to school that day. Perhaps the poor boy was ill.

Seconds passed. No reply. Maybe he really was sick.

"RITSU!" Teto called. Still no reply.

"Ritsu, if I don't get an answer, I'm going to break down the door!"

Silence.

"I mean it!"

More silence.

Eventually, Teto did break and enter. Walking up the stairs to Ritsu's bedroom slowly and cautiously, she knocked the door.

Even more silence.

Sighing, she opened the door…

And screamed.