[EN] The Comfort Corner!

i'm gonna edit this out in a couple days so kindly dont quote it

i had my last straw with my family some nights ago
actually, i guess i've had it for some time. my family has continued to berate me, treat me like a slave, tell me im worthless and such for stupid reasons. i've had an escape but never properly pursued it, but lately i've really given it thought.
my parents are making me so anxious. they've been mentally, and not often but sometimes father has been physically, abusing me since i was eighteen. i've now grown to a point where the only time i feel as if i can be myself is late at night, which is wreaking havoc on my sleep schedule and i sleep from like 3:30 to 9:30 which isnt good for me and i spend my days tired and cranky.
pile a breakup onto continued abuse onto an exacerbated case of untreated bpd and im just a walking, talking mess of a person. i've spent every day since december more or less thinking that i want to end it all because of this and im just... done?

recently it's gotten so bad that i've been told im worthless and immature because i picked up a rug improperly and spilled dirt onto the floor. even though i said it was a mistake and i didnt mean to, i got the typical bullshit of how when my parents were ~my age~ my dad had two children and my mother was managing a restaurant and how that fucking equates to me spilling dirt on the floor by mistake you fucking got me. the other night my parents violated my trust once again by going into my room and going through my things. apparently because i had like a shirt or two sandwiched between my pillows that i wasnt even aware of, i am once again terribly addicted to the internet and hopeless and worthless and immature. i was told to go through my drawer and throw out things i didnt wear regularly, which i agree i kinda needed to do and have been meaning to but the scorn received from my parents truly wasnt necessary.

so im over it. some changes are coming. it's gonna be difficult and im gonna have to be crafty and get my personal documents, but im gone. my best friend and her family are being more than welcoming, letting me have my own room. once i get to gainesville and get on the train, i am home free. it'll be good for me to hang out with people my own age, with a friend i have known since i was eleven years of age, with a family who has been more kind to me and supportive of my dreams, rather than my current situation in which im mocked for what i want to do in life.

so yeah.
it's gonna feel fucking great.

korii does this feel vaguely familiar

#182

Is this you or another person?

#183

Satash a dit :
Is this you or another person?

the post above is 100% my words and my situation

#184

God, if I could just tell you how much I relate to all the shit your life has brought onto you.

Will you be alright?

#185

I believe so. It's a big change for us both given that she's rather sick (OCD, lyme, anxiety) but we agree it will help us both be healthier, she'll have a reason to fight her OCD more (so we can go out and do things) and get better. Plus we've both been largely alone for our teenage and part of our adult lives with only online friends so it'll be nice.

#186

I wish you the best of luck. It definitely won't be easy, but I know you are capable of doing great things and that you will make it fine. Give my regards to your best friend.

#187

i hope everything works out and your life gets x1000 better

Sentinel - Please don't quote posts that a user has asked not to quote!

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#188

Kindly don't quote it. . .

#189

squawks

thanks sent buddy

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#190

oh im sorry :(
didnt see it
and i went to the bathroom so i couldnt edit it fast enough :/

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#191

i hope everything works out haru

#192

good luck haru <3 i really hope things get better for you. sadly i do have similar problems with parents and i know that feeling. stay strong, i know you will go do GREAT things-- and wow your writing skill is already off the charts!

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#193

@haru

#194

please dont quote (if you do take out the spoiler) in case i want to delete this

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#195

Ilingirl a dit :
oh boy i just remembered this exists

Im a depressed teenager with nothing to live for other than 2 persons and a rabbit .

I have a shitty mom that prefers to go out with her friends for hours than check up on me , she does it just because she feels guilty i was an accident . she just makes food and cleans up , i have no feelings towards her . she was never there for me in my childhood because she was depressed and took medication; She always hints im the reason she never achieved her dreams
My dad is a manipulative and lying man that stalks me and my mom , even after they got divorced . He buys my affection and he was almost never there either in my childhood because of his job . I hate him less since he never judges and supports my decisions and hobbies , unlike my mom , her biggest fear is being judged , she always complains about my actions , clothes or interests . She hates it when im indifferent or careless of her yelling and says im disrespectful . I have no real affection for anyone on my family other than 2 distant cousins . Most of my family is uneducated and religious , homophobic and racist morons .
I lack affection to most things and I lack emotion , not being able to simpathise with shitty teenager problems or others happiness .
I am antisocial and surive off coffee and junk food , working like a dog at school and being told its not good enough , waiting to get out of a shitty cigarette smoke reeking apartament .
I scare people because of my pokerface and my sarcasm which i never mind
I am also very direct with people , telling them the truth in any situation , either telling them they are morons or annoying .
I know i will never succed in life because i live in a shitty country with no oportunities and i would rather die a hurrendous death than be an office worker
My mom triest to push down my throath the ideea that i have many complexes and im traumatised because of their divorce when I couldnt care for that trivial thing any less.
I have only 1 friend irl that i care about thats as fucked up as me and one online
The only reason i didnt kill myself so far is because death as an endless pit of darkness is boring
I like nothing about me ranging from my art to my appearence
Yes , I tried going to a psychologist , they told me Im faking depression and that im too rational to be sad over my life
Yes I tried getting outside and making friends and doing activities
The only thing i havent done is taking pills
Ok im done with ranting

This is really long Im sorry

Oh dear, Link, i wasn't on for 5 days so i didnt see this
sorry darling
And again i don't know a solution, but all i can tell you is to stay strong
Because it will be better, trust me. And wasn't your plan to go to uk/germany when you were old enough?
I really can't give you much help, but you could ask people that have been/are in the same situation as you are?
Never hesitate to contact me when you feel shitty.

mynerdyways a dit :
please dont quote (if you do take out the spoiler) in case i want to delete this

Have you tried mentioning it to them how much it hurts you?
^ if you already did this or you feel like this will not work at all:
I understand you
Maybe learn to ignore it and move out when you 're old enough? That's my plan

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#196

BOY OH BOY ALL MEN ARE THE SAME #YESALLMEN

#197

I dont know if I should be sharing since my mum always says "The things of the house stays in the house" but please no one quote me

#198

SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER

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#199

Did I not say "no one quote me"

#200

Removing

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