Spazmycat a dit :

My mom died last week early Thursday morning of unknown causes and her funeral was yesterday.
She had only called twice all 2018 and it was to tell me that my dad was slowly dying of liver failure due to excessive alcoholism and he will most likely die before the end of 2019.

I don't really know what to do despite getting advice from a bunch of friends and even my school guidance counselor.
I've been crying like... a lot.

• (*・ω・)ﾉ
• \(◡̈ )/♥︎
• ♡´･ᴗ･`♡
• ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝
• (ᵕ ᵕ⁎)

｡o°✥✤✣ Hi, Cuties! ✣✤✥°o｡

Hello, again! Sorry, I got the procrastination virus ;-;. Anyway, here's the second post! I'm not sure if this is going to be a daily thing, but I'm still going to do it.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Please enjoy these daily 10s and have a wonderful day! If you'd like to talk to me about a personal problem, please don't hesitate to PM me! I never share private conversations; what's PMed to me stays in my PMs.

｡･ﾟﾟ･ Inspirational Quotes ･ﾟﾟ･｡

"Your true success in life begins only when you make the commitment to become excellent at what you do." — Brian Tracy
"Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going." – Chantal Sutherland
"Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement." – W. Clement Stone
"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." – Les Brown
"If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles." – Wayne Dyer
"Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak." – Thomas Carlyle
"Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be." – Zig Ziglar
"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you." – Les Brown
"Hard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times when the ‘hero’ within us is revealed." – Bob Riley
"Believe you can and you’re halfway there." — Theodore Roosevelt

｡･ﾟﾟ･ Your Daily Dose of Baby Animal Cuteness ･ﾟﾟ･｡

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｡･ﾟﾟ･ Inspirational Art ･ﾟﾟ･｡

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[img]https://images.discerningassets.com/image/upload/q_auto/c_fit,h_600,w_600/v1493700388/Allthings12x36_h9zhjb.jpg[/img]

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｡･ﾟﾟ･ Reasons to Keep on Living ･ﾟﾟ･｡

Your future children, pets, spouses, or friends.
The feeling of being held in someone’s arms.
New books by your favorite authors.
Christmas lights.
The one influential person in your life that has helped you through everything.
The way dogs gets excited to see you when you come home from a long day of school or work.
Smiles on other people’s faces.
The warmth of sunshine on your skin.
The smell of coffee.
Sitting in a warm house or by a fire with a really good book.

（*＾ᴗ＾）/～♡

Penpause47 a dit :

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Ugly a dit :

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

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that baby anteater is the cutest thing i have ever seen besides myself of course
//btw this is a rlly nice thing of u to do

Sweetporcelain a dit :

Hey so uh
My mom was getting really personal today
She asked all these questions like are my friends straight and is the girl I like bi and whether or not I was bi or not and I just felt really scared that it was gonna end up homophobic.
It did.
She said things like WOMAN AND WOMAN CANNOT CONCEIVE (I know they can't but thats not the freaking objective) and also said being gay was a choice and that you're not born with it even though I didn't CHOOSE to be bi. I didn't CHOOSE to like the girl I like.
I was thinking of coming out before but now I'm forever scared in the closet. (I didn't say yes to her because I felt pressured)

And I'm stuck in this dumb class for the entire year and it's making me miserable
They said I can't leave the class due to it's a year long class but my old friend got out of Spanish when he didn't want to take it. I want to leave the class for a class I'd like better


My life just freaking sucks

Penpause47 a dit :

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Hey so uh
My mom was getting really personal today
She asked all these questions like are my friends straight and is the girl I like bi and whether or not I was bi or not and I just felt really scared that it was gonna end up homophobic.
It did.
She said things like WOMAN AND WOMAN CANNOT CONCEIVE (I know they can't but thats not the freaking objective) and also said being gay was a choice and that you're not born with it even though I didn't CHOOSE to be bi. I didn't CHOOSE to like the girl I like.
I was thinking of coming out before but now I'm forever scared in the closet. (I didn't say yes to her because I felt pressured)

And I'm stuck in this dumb class for the entire year and it's making me miserable
They said I can't leave the class due to it's a year long class but my old friend got out of Spanish when he didn't want to take it. I want to leave the class for a class I'd like better


My life just freaking sucks

Don’t say your life sucks! If you keep going, you’ll work it out. Try either reasoning with your mom that love is love and it doesn’t matter what your gender is, or just ignore the subject entirely. Try talking to your teacher about switching your class for another year-long class, or ask your teacher to help you out.

Hope you find a light in the dark <3

Sweetporcelain a dit :

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Hey so uh
My mom was getting really personal today
She asked all these questions like are my friends straight and is the girl I like bi and whether or not I was bi or not and I just felt really scared that it was gonna end up homophobic.
It did.
She said things like WOMAN AND WOMAN CANNOT CONCEIVE (I know they can't but thats not the freaking objective) and also said being gay was a choice and that you're not born with it even though I didn't CHOOSE to be bi. I didn't CHOOSE to like the girl I like.
I was thinking of coming out before but now I'm forever scared in the closet. (I didn't say yes to her because I felt pressured)

And I'm stuck in this dumb class for the entire year and it's making me miserable
They said I can't leave the class due to it's a year long class but my old friend got out of Spanish when he didn't want to take it. I want to leave the class for a class I'd like better


My life just freaking sucks

Don’t say your life sucks! If you keep going, you’ll work it out. Try either reasoning with your mom that love is love and it doesn’t matter what your gender is, or just ignore the subject entirely. Try talking to your teacher about switching your class for another year-long class, or ask your teacher to help you out.

Hope you find a light in the dark <3

Actually I can't ask for a yearlong class, but I CAN take a half year class like photography or media. And I've tried to talk to my counselor but she literally does not care. She doesn't even try to make an appointment with me to talk it out

Penpause47 a dit :

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Hey so uh
My mom was getting really personal today
She asked all these questions like are my friends straight and is the girl I like bi and whether or not I was bi or not and I just felt really scared that it was gonna end up homophobic.
It did.
She said things like WOMAN AND WOMAN CANNOT CONCEIVE (I know they can't but thats not the freaking objective) and also said being gay was a choice and that you're not born with it even though I didn't CHOOSE to be bi. I didn't CHOOSE to like the girl I like.
I was thinking of coming out before but now I'm forever scared in the closet. (I didn't say yes to her because I felt pressured)

And I'm stuck in this dumb class for the entire year and it's making me miserable
They said I can't leave the class due to it's a year long class but my old friend got out of Spanish when he didn't want to take it. I want to leave the class for a class I'd like better


My life just freaking sucks

Don’t say your life sucks! If you keep going, you’ll work it out. Try either reasoning with your mom that love is love and it doesn’t matter what your gender is, or just ignore the subject entirely. Try talking to your teacher about switching your class for another year-long class, or ask your teacher to help you out.

Hope you find a light in the dark <3

Actually I can't ask for a yearlong class, but I CAN take a half year class like photography or media. And I've tried to talk to my counselor but she literally does not care. She doesn't even try to make an appointment with me to talk it out

A half year class may work. Try talking to parents, friends, or a teacher you like / another family member to talk about it.

Sweetporcelain a dit :

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

Sweetporcelain a dit :VoirMasquer

Hey so uh
My mom was getting really personal today
She asked all these questions like are my friends straight and is the girl I like bi and whether or not I was bi or not and I just felt really scared that it was gonna end up homophobic.
It did.
She said things like WOMAN AND WOMAN CANNOT CONCEIVE (I know they can't but thats not the freaking objective) and also said being gay was a choice and that you're not born with it even though I didn't CHOOSE to be bi. I didn't CHOOSE to like the girl I like.
I was thinking of coming out before but now I'm forever scared in the closet. (I didn't say yes to her because I felt pressured)

And I'm stuck in this dumb class for the entire year and it's making me miserable
They said I can't leave the class due to it's a year long class but my old friend got out of Spanish when he didn't want to take it. I want to leave the class for a class I'd like better


My life just freaking sucks

Don’t say your life sucks! If you keep going, you’ll work it out. Try either reasoning with your mom that love is love and it doesn’t matter what your gender is, or just ignore the subject entirely. Try talking to your teacher about switching your class for another year-long class, or ask your teacher to help you out.

Hope you find a light in the dark <3

Actually I can't ask for a yearlong class, but I CAN take a half year class like photography or media. And I've tried to talk to my counselor but she literally does not care. She doesn't even try to make an appointment with me to talk it out

A half year class may work. Try talking to parents, friends, or a teacher you like / another family member to talk about it.

I've actually tried to
It's useless, I just feel worse

Lunacska a dit :

Spoiler

Do you have a hobby, maybe?
I was really suicidal about 1 and a half years ago, and I could've totally threw my life away
But I had plans about what I want to do before dying, like finish the story I'm writing and make illustrations for it (this is kinda my life now, I'm doing it for like 2.5 years)
I don't know about you, but knowing that I have plans and I want to achieve my dreams before the end really helped me
I have never actually had problems about this sexuality kind of thing since I don't give a flip what others think about my sexuality :0 I think it's natural, and if others think differently it's their problem if they are annoyed by those people
I really want to help you, but I don't know what would work for you TT I'd say don't let your life spin around your sexuality and class, but it's only easy to say
I truly hope life gets better for you <3

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And I uh actually have kind of a problem let's say
So I met a boi not so long ago (around the end of November)
And gosh he's so sophisticated and stuff
I slowly started to realise I like him even though I didn't want to
(The reason is that when I like someone more than just a friend, it hurts a lot to be around them, think about them etc.)
So we were talking about this topic like a week or two ago, and he actually figured out I like him a lot. He hugged me and said he is sorry (he likes someone else, but he said it is very desperate actually).
It happened to me quite a lot now, and I could let everyone go without shedding tears and stuff like that
But the thing is, I can't just let him go and I have no idea why
I mean I can accept he likes someone else, but I keep thinking about him, and the worst part is that I've been extremely emotional since then (I cry bc of the smallest things and it's the same with anger, I also get excited (in the bad way, like I could throw up any minute etc) for no reason

So, what should I do about this? I really don't care that much about us getting together or not, I want to be my normal self again, because it's kind of a misery that I want to cry every few days for literally no reason (like, I don't think about him that much, I wouldn't cry because of him).
Music can't help me anymore and I've been really desperate because of this now

Penpause47 a dit :

Lunacska a dit :VoirMasquer

Spoiler

Do you have a hobby, maybe?
I was really suicidal about 1 and a half years ago, and I could've totally threw my life away
But I had plans about what I want to do before dying, like finish the story I'm writing and make illustrations for it (this is kinda my life now, I'm doing it for like 2.5 years)
I don't know about you, but knowing that I have plans and I want to achieve my dreams before the end really helped me
I have never actually had problems about this sexuality kind of thing since I don't give a flip what others think about my sexuality :0 I think it's natural, and if others think differently it's their problem if they are annoyed by those people
I really want to help you, but I don't know what would work for you TT I'd say don't let your life spin around your sexuality and class, but it's only easy to say
I truly hope life gets better for you <3

Spoiler

And I uh actually have kind of a problem let's say
So I met a boi not so long ago (around the end of November)
And gosh he's so sophisticated and stuff
I slowly started to realise I like him even though I didn't want to
(The reason is that when I like someone more than just a friend, it hurts a lot to be around them, think about them etc.)
So we were talking about this topic like a week or two ago, and he actually figured out I like him a lot. He hugged me and said he is sorry (he likes someone else, but he said it is very desperate actually).
It happened to me quite a lot now, and I could let everyone go without shedding tears and stuff like that
But the thing is, I can't just let him go and I have no idea why
I mean I can accept he likes someone else, but I keep thinking about him, and the worst part is that I've been extremely emotional since then (I cry bc of the smallest things and it's the same with anger, I also get excited (in the bad way, like I could throw up any minute etc) for no reason

So, what should I do about this? I really don't care that much about us getting together or not, I want to be my normal self again, because it's kind of a misery that I want to cry every few days for literally no reason (like, I don't think about him that much, I wouldn't cry because of him).
Music can't help me anymore and I've been really desperate because of this now

Addressing your problem ^^

Have you ever seen the Flash? The main character is a guy called Barry Allen, and he escaped a friendzone. Try to spend more time with your friend, hang out with him a lot. If you’re lucky, he might slowly fall for you and/or his other relationship might not work out. If that doesn’t happen, being around him might make it easier to slowly ease back into your normal self.

@Sweetporcelain look through here

Lunacska a dit :

Penpause47 a dit :VoirMasquer

Lunacska a dit :VoirMasquer

Spoiler

Do you have a hobby, maybe?
I was really suicidal about 1 and a half years ago, and I could've totally threw my life away
But I had plans about what I want to do before dying, like finish the story I'm writing and make illustrations for it (this is kinda my life now, I'm doing it for like 2.5 years)
I don't know about you, but knowing that I have plans and I want to achieve my dreams before the end really helped me
I have never actually had problems about this sexuality kind of thing since I don't give a flip what others think about my sexuality :0 I think it's natural, and if others think differently it's their problem if they are annoyed by those people
I really want to help you, but I don't know what would work for you TT I'd say don't let your life spin around your sexuality and class, but it's only easy to say
I truly hope life gets better for you <3

Spoiler

And I uh actually have kind of a problem let's say
So I met a boi not so long ago (around the end of November)
And gosh he's so sophisticated and stuff
I slowly started to realise I like him even though I didn't want to
(The reason is that when I like someone more than just a friend, it hurts a lot to be around them, think about them etc.)
So we were talking about this topic like a week or two ago, and he actually figured out I like him a lot. He hugged me and said he is sorry (he likes someone else, but he said it is very desperate actually).
It happened to me quite a lot now, and I could let everyone go without shedding tears and stuff like that
But the thing is, I can't just let him go and I have no idea why
I mean I can accept he likes someone else, but I keep thinking about him, and the worst part is that I've been extremely emotional since then (I cry bc of the smallest things and it's the same with anger, I also get excited (in the bad way, like I could throw up any minute etc) for no reason

So, what should I do about this? I really don't care that much about us getting together or not, I want to be my normal self again, because it's kind of a misery that I want to cry every few days for literally no reason (like, I don't think about him that much, I wouldn't cry because of him).
Music can't help me anymore and I've been really desperate because of this now

Addressing your problem ^^

Have you ever seen the Flash? The main character is a guy called Barry Allen, and he escaped a friendzone. Try to spend more time with your friend, hang out with him a lot. If you’re lucky, he might slowly fall for you and/or his other relationship might not work out. If that doesn’t happen, being around him might make it easier to slowly ease back into your normal self.

@Sweetporcelain look through here

I wouldn't think that I'd get an answer this quickly, thank you :0
I'd spend all of my time with him if I could. The thing is, he wants to become an actor and for this reason he rarely comes home (he goes to a school that is kinda far), it's either because of performances or he's really tired. The only time we can meet is when we go to theater together (that is usually around 2-4 times in a month). Also, his other relationship most likely won't work out, he's a really positive person and if he says it's desperate, it is indeed.
Thanksu <3

Lunacska a dit :

Spoiler

Do you have a hobby, maybe?
I was really suicidal about 1 and a half years ago, and I could've totally threw my life away
But I had plans about what I want to do before dying, like finish the story I'm writing and make illustrations for it (this is kinda my life now, I'm doing it for like 2.5 years)
I don't know about you, but knowing that I have plans and I want to achieve my dreams before the end really helped me
I have never actually had problems about this sexuality kind of thing since I don't give a flip what others think about my sexuality :0 I think it's natural, and if others think differently it's their problem if they are annoyed by those people
I really want to help you, but I don't know what would work for you TT I'd say don't let your life spin around your sexuality and class, but it's only easy to say
I truly hope life gets better for you <3

Spoiler I don't think I have any hobbies, actually. I do although enjoy cleaning my room when it's dirty, and I love listening to music. I also plan on going to this thing called Running Start later in high school and I kind of want to do my family some justice just because no one in my family graduated high school... And I think I've gotten fine with my mom, I think. She started to suspect I liked this one girl and if I do, I couldn't have her over so I had to say no. I had a fun time with her at a dance last week though and our sleepover was OK. And I think I've gotten progress with trying to get out of my class, I have a meeting with my teacher and the vice principal next week. I don't know what will happen but I hope it gets me out if the class :/ Yeah but even excluding all those things, I feel really lonely at school and at home. I do have friends at school but I don't think they would understand how I feel and they'd just kinda think I'm crazy. I really want to talk to my best friend but I can't really get her alone, she spends her lunch with my other friends and if I want to ask if I can sit with her alone somewhere else but I would just feel like I'm bothering her. I can't text her right now because I am 100% sure she is busy doing something or if I do ask if I can talk to her, she'd just leave me on read. :/ I feel stupid

Sweetporcelain a dit :

Lunacska a dit :VoirMasquer

Spoiler

Do you have a hobby, maybe?
I was really suicidal about 1 and a half years ago, and I could've totally threw my life away
But I had plans about what I want to do before dying, like finish the story I'm writing and make illustrations for it (this is kinda my life now, I'm doing it for like 2.5 years)
I don't know about you, but knowing that I have plans and I want to achieve my dreams before the end really helped me
I have never actually had problems about this sexuality kind of thing since I don't give a flip what others think about my sexuality :0 I think it's natural, and if others think differently it's their problem if they are annoyed by those people
I really want to help you, but I don't know what would work for you TT I'd say don't let your life spin around your sexuality and class, but it's only easy to say
I truly hope life gets better for you <3

Spoiler I don't think I have any hobbies, actually. I do although enjoy cleaning my room when it's dirty, and I love listening to music. I also plan on going to this thing called Running Start later in high school and I kind of want to do my family some justice just because no one in my family graduated high school... And I think I've gotten fine with my mom, I think. She started to suspect I liked this one girl and if I do, I couldn't have her over so I had to say no. I had a fun time with her at a dance last week though and our sleepover was OK. And I think I've gotten progress with trying to get out of my class, I have a meeting with my teacher and the vice principal next week. I don't know what will happen but I hope it gets me out if the class :/ Yeah but even excluding all those things, I feel really lonely at school and at home. I do have friends at school but I don't think they would understand how I feel and they'd just kinda think I'm crazy. I really want to talk to my best friend but I can't really get her alone, she spends her lunch with my other friends and if I want to ask if I can sit with her alone somewhere else but I would just feel like I'm bothering her. I can't text her right now because I am 100% sure she is busy doing something or if I do ask if I can talk to her, she'd just leave me on read. :/ I feel stupid

Update: I felt isolated and lonely so I made an online friend lol
Haven't done that in years
Oops didn't mean to double post :/