[EN] The Comfort Corner!

#2081

I'd like to commend the amazing people helping others in this thread. To others it seems like little, but to the ones who need it can be a candle in the dark, lighting up their day and to let them know they're not alone. And as for those who get the help; know that the ones helping you also find comfort in knowing that they contributed.You're not a burden to anyone. Keep it up ladies and gentlemen, I'm drinking one in your honor.

Dernière modification le

#2082

Rottenappel a dit :
I'd like to commend the amazing people helping others in this thread. To others it seems like little, but to the ones who need it can be a candle in the dark, lighting up their day and to let them know they're not alone. And as for those who get the help; know that the ones helping you also find comfort in knowing that they contributed.You're not a burden to anyone. Keep it up ladies and gentlemen, I'm drinking one in your honor.

#2083

Dernière modification le

#2084

Hey it's fine, take your time to message me, it's alright, sometimes it helps to heal yourself, god i sound like a ucking hippie xD

#2085

Thanks for understanding, really. I'll wait for the tension to de-escalate a bit so I'm in a more comfortable position first. :'p

#2086

it's all good, keep in mind you can also PM me on here

#2087

it's really heartbreaking to see minorities upset over things they can't even control much. i am hoping for the best of all of you and you will find the key to your happiness, it'll take a while and patience but it is worth it so you can feel euphoric. don't give up and think of suicide as your last option and please text "HOME" to 741-741 if you have a phone or number. there is also other texting hotlines for other locations but that's the only one i can remember off my head. you will get over this soon enough please do not loose faith yet, people love you and people care for you. You are the cause of someone elses smile and happiness and you should think of that and be happy as well! life should never be experienced with dull moments, we only live for so short and why not live it to the fullest during the presence? during the time of sadness... please atleast make an effort to care for yourself! =). you will feel better if you continue simple daily habits that you used to have and don't let it brainwash you completely. Suicide is only a permanent solution for a temporary problem. life will IMPROVE, you need to remember that... but it is human nature to dislocate the point of living. during 2018-present i had attempts of suicide including hundreds of self harm attempts ranging from cutting, choking, suffocating, burning, biting and extreme starvation. and that didn't help out at all. you will be put into the ER for $150 and they just ask you so many different things and other stuff, not much..

what im saying iss... don't give up too soon please! don't take your own life just for the sake of your depression, you are being emotionally manipulated by the sadness you feel and you think that it's the end of the world but it's truly not! Life is amazing, please dont give up too soon.. you will see that you're gonna make everyone sad and loose the smile of others that you give off, and when someone else you love is sad their friends are also sad and the friends friends are also sad and the whole chain continues! SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE SAVING OTHERS!!!!!! please.... don't ruin yourself too soon you guys are all young and so am i (13 soon). It will get better eventually... not now, but..later?

#2088

Also,
once corona is over try going to your normal doctor and asking to talk to them privately without your parents if you're embarassed and say that you are feeling sad and want to get mental help. they WILL and they are literally hired to prescribe u into other doctors. try finding one in your insurance, and the cost of therapy depending on where you live usually costs $20 to $250 per hour depending on the number of sessions booked. but don't give up to soon.. you can also try talking to your school guidance counselor if that's possible. BTW for those who can't sleep well, you should get medicine like melatonin or any other prescriptions. relax and take it slowly...

#2089

this is one of the few times i'll vent here, don't quote me or offer "advice" here since i won't see it. message me on the forums if you want to be bothersome. anyway, i am not looking for comfort or support, i'm sick of both of those things. i just want to vent.

#2090

Aisurisa a dit :
ok, i'm writing in this spoiler what i felt recently
so this week i felt like shit because..,
i was sick and one of my kitty is lost and Thursday heard that my other kitty died, last night i was searching photos of them and i found photos with them when they we're little
I WAS LIKE CRYING WITHOUT STOP, alsO THEY WE'RE POISONED

i. wish. that. person. who. poisoned. them. to. burn.
LAST YEAR 3 CATS OF MINE DIED BECAUSE THEY WE'RE POISONED why the fuck every year you're poisoning my cats JUST whY
i felt such like shit... but now when i am thinking of them i'm almost to cry, because.. i was pretty happy with them, when i was playing with them.. i attached with them, i still don't know their gender though
ok sorry for the last words but is normal to feel like this

Ok I decided to comfort you even if I have no idea how to do it, but don't be sad, I feel you, 2 of my cats died and 2 of my dogs did, but I'm not sad, I know they loved me and still love me in heaven, so if you get new cats again keep them in the house, and if you have a a garden and it's open, bUy SoMe FeNcEs, not going into the shop okay we got corona here, just online buying ok everybody knew that but bOi, if you needa friend, add me, even if i'm a noob cuz i got scammed- ok lets not talk abt that
my apoligies this comfort is awkward idk i never comforted someone i always feel sad lol srry

#2091

Kitten a dit :
big wall of text

it's a breath of fresh air to see someone like you who has a different perspective of things. even if you are young and just starting out in life, i appreciate your willingness to live life to its fullest and i wish you all the best in that regard.

generally speaking here, it's pretty simple to see why alot of people fall into depression or hopelessness, because it is easy to attach one's self-worth to external circumstances and allow that to distort their perceptions, so much that they've become conditioned to think that life is beyond their control and suicide is the only option to free themselves. that is never ever a solution to begin with, although the undeniably fluctuating state of life is not something that everyone can endure equally.

in simple words, people are not static. we're all capable of growing for the better or worse. we can't control the fact that our lives aren't perfect and that we momentarily find ourselves in unfavourable situations with unfavourable people. though you can't also deny that factors like that can surely take a toll on people's psychological well-being no matter how positive anyone tries to be. because we live in a world that is so violatile and changeable and it is totally okay for us not to be happy 100% of the time, i don't think plain euphoria is the solution here (and medicine can only do such much, never always the go-to for all mental problems), but i do think natural happiness and contentment is a by-product of detachment, and that comes by working on a mindset that is founded by mindfulness of the things that matter, patience and accepting things as they come and go without investing too much of yourself, etc. etc. no matter who you are and what your struggles may be.

some people like to assume that this "positivity bogus" won't work for them because THEY themselves are not aware that our very essence, what we do, what we think and how all this influences the people around us is actually something that's completely within our control. no matter what advice you recieve or reassurance or respect you recieve, you're the only one who needs to be willing to use the resources given to you and make them work for your own good.

sure, i know that sounds like alot of work, and it is. i personally found that self-introspection and coming to understand the value of religion (ex. the role it plays in my life) helps alot and i think it could tremendously help you all as well, but i encourage you to have an open mind and take whatever approach helps you become your best self because it all comes from within you. make self-improvement your biggest priority and only then will the world improve for you.

on a completely different note, hope you're taking good care of yourself. i see alot of potential and i am positive that you can be a beacon of light for everybody if you continue to cultivate that aspect of you.

#2092

Sea a dit :
Kitten a dit :
big wall of text

it's a breath of fresh air to see someone like you who has a different perspective of things. even if you are young and just starting out in life, i appreciate your willingness to live life to its fullest and i wish you all the best in that regard.

generally speaking here, it's pretty simple to see why alot of people fall into depression or hopelessness, because it is easy to attach one's self-worth to external circumstances and allow that to distort their perceptions, so much that they've become conditioned to think that life is beyond their control and suicide is the only option to free themselves. that is never ever a solution to begin with, although the undeniably fluctuating state of life is not something that everyone can endure equally.

in simple words, people are not static. we're all capable of growing for the better or worse. we can't control the fact that our lives aren't perfect and that we momentarily find ourselves in unfavourable situations with unfavourable people. though you can't also deny that factors like that can surely take a toll on people's psychological well-being no matter how positive anyone tries to be. because we live in a world that is so violatile and changeable and it is totally okay for us not to be happy 100% of the time, i don't think plain euphoria is the solution here (and medicine can only do such much, never always the go-to for all mental problems), but i do think natural happiness and contentment is a by-product of detachment, and that comes by working on a mindset that is founded by mindfulness of the things that matter, patience and accepting things as they come and go without investing too much of yourself, etc. etc. no matter who you are and what your struggles may be.

some people like to assume that this "positivity bogus" won't work for them because THEY themselves are not aware that our very essence, what we do, what we think and how all this influences the people around us is actually something that's completely within our control. no matter what advice you recieve or reassurance or respect you recieve, you're the only one who needs to be willing to use the resources given to you and make them work for your own good.

sure, i know that sounds like alot of work, and it is. i personally found that self-introspection and coming to understand the value of religion (ex. the role it plays in my life) helps alot and i think it could tremendously help you all as well, but i encourage you to have an open mind and take whatever approach helps you become your best self because it all comes from within you. make self-improvement your biggest priority and only then will the world improve for you.

on a completely different note, hope you're taking good care of yourself. i see alot of potential and i am positive that you can be a beacon of light for everybody if you continue to cultivate that aspect of you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE SO KIND AND SWEET. I appreciate your advice, it's very heartwarming thank you so much. i am not sure whats a self instrospection but i am extremely grateful towards you for teaching me a new addition to vocabulary. i will be taking what you said and think about it as i mature out of my adolescent years. i would love to improve myself but i don't really care because im happy and thats already good enough!!!! i have seen that nobody here is able to control their emotions and thats apart of human nature but i hope people feel better about it because nobody should ever feel that way unless you're a sadistic freak. i dont like seeing people sad even if i dont know them you know? why would they feel like that for something so unnecessary... but thank you for enlightening me with your words. i truly appreciate the time you took out of your day to write all of that ♥️

#2093

don't really mind if you quote or not (because if I end up regretting this, I would just dissociate from it), I don't even want to be prioritized, mostly wanted to vent because I feel like I'm gonna have a mental breakdown if I don't. also, mild swearing, but it's mostly censored

at this point I don't even care who reads this and what decides to make out of it, maybe it might not even seem as a very big deal

tldr: people seriously assume I have romantic feelings for every male I interact with and this has affected how I behave around others

Is it normal to be asked if you romantically like every person of the opposite gender you interact with(or to be told that the person in question likes you)? And I mean ABSOLUTELY every time and in a lot of cases in a serious way (like people waiting to be alone with me to """carefully""" approach the subject(or perhaps "in a tactical way" would be a better description) or even pushing me to interact with that person without asking if I have any interest in it). I feel like most of the time, just because I don't directly show or talk about romantic interests (because it's not my priority and I even mention this in conversations about general romantic interests, heck, I'm not even sure if I'm heterosexual; for me - as for my personal way of living-, life's too short to constantly seek fulfillment by other people, I just want to focus on improving myself and appreciating the contribution to the world I can bring with my abilities, especially that there was a time when I absolutely despised myself, but that's a different story; and also, why would it be other's people business to know if I like someone?) people will try to reduce my value as a human being to a part of a romantic interest by digging to the bottom of every interaction I have with my male friends(or in my parents' case, every f ing male, not even ones that I know, just their random acquaintances). Because of course, screw the fact I'm in college studying Computer Science, screw the fact that I have a scholarship, screw the fact that I even have hobbies outside of that field, screw the fact that I have plans for my future, as long as I don't even think about being with someone else, I will just be this sad, inferior being(not even incomplete, straight up subhuman)

And because of those assumptions I tend to be an ahole with said friend because something buried deep in my mind tells me that I need to prove that I don't like the person in question in that way or things like this happen because I don't know how to interact with others since I don't consider gender when it comes to that. Of course, this has led to me losing a lot of friends (the male ones I had or even could've had a good connection with) and "close ones" (the ones who get mad when they realize that I'm a human being with my own personality, not their fictional character who they can ship people with) and also has been a part of what made me afraid of showing my emotions around people(again, the other part is a whole different story). It even made me forget who I am and is a part of why when I hang out with a group of people I mostly stay quiet and only contribute to conversations when it's absolutely relevant. Sometimes I'm scared to even talk to males or let them talk to me when other people are around (even if I don't directly show it), and if I somehow forget about this fear I can feel the dread consuming me while waiting for the moment when I will be asked about it (or even worse, sometimes I forget about this dread and the reality check hits me very hard when it actually happens). At times I'm even scared to randomly be alone with a male because I dread the moment someone might walk by. I just try to push them away most of the time, to the point where I seem this cold, inconsiderate

who just randomly turns against people for no reason

Also, the fact that some people who happen to be males try to help me (I'm talking about people who actually care about me and just genuinely want to help when it's necessary and they can, because when I'm not seen as "shipping material", I am reduced to a helpless being who can do nothing on its own) when they see my self-esteem problems or just on overall mundane matters and me being nice to them ironically doesn't help. Is it just forbidden to help someone who really needs it if you're not the same gender as them and I am too stupid to understand human behavior ?

Actually,if I think about it, do I want to know if this is normal? No, because for me it just isn't normal to obsess over other's people's lives and get mad when they don't let themselves be your doll that you push into kissing another soulless doll

Then why am I telling this, why am I contradicting the introduction of this story? I just want to know if I'm I overreacting; if I'm just a 20 years loser who just overshared something in a random game's forum just to seek validation or to just vent in an empty echo chamber

Also, a tip on how to cope with this would be nice, because what hurts the most is that I'm aware that I shouldn't care about these people and expect things like these to happen, but the fact that it happens every single time and even happened recently and by people of my age kinda breaks me (also, I might sound inconsiderate or like a horrible person for this, but it boggles my mind how others from my community aren't asked those things when they act like I do with my friends but with theirs. It makes me feel like people see me as weak or easy to pick on)
I would gladly remove these people out of my life if it wouldn't be for the fact that there were so many to the point where if I actually did, I would be isolated from society (or at least from most of the female individuals since they are the only ones doing that to me)
I just feel like despite everything I do or might do, I still wouldn't be seen as a valid being on my own

And idk, maybe my situation would be useful to someone (regardless of gender) by making them know that they're not the only one going through this(tho, this might seem to contradict the paragraph before, I really don't know, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone) and bs like this that you would expect to see only in kindergarten or middle school at best happens even when you are an adult

Btw, sorry if some notes are longer then the actual phrases, but I really felt like some things needed context

Dernière modification le

#2094

Emochukid a dit :
don't really mind if you quote or not (because if I end up regretting this, I would just dissociate from it), I don't even want to be prioritized, mostly wanted to vent because I feel like I'm gonna have a mental breakdown if I don't. also, mild swearing, but it's mostly censored

here are my two cents. apologies if its long winded but i attempted to dissect your problem as best as i can. hope you're feeling better after writing that out

you say that you have a problem with people who are hyperfocused (and are possibly quick to judge) on your interactions with men, to the extent that you feel as if they're turning a blind eye to their relationship with you and not acknowledging you as an actual human being with a life that doesn't revolve around men. you also say that they deliberately put you in uncomfortable situations with them so as to push that sort of narrative, yet you are completely aware that it is making you feel dehumanized and not respectful of your boundaries. i'd say good for you for losing those "friends" who didn't know you any better because they're surely not worth that title, much less your attention for treating you like that. good riddance.

however, where the problem truly lies is not in the unwarranted judgement you keep getting from people, because that will always be part of the ebb and flow of life and not every person you come across will share or respect your personal values, nevermind knowing what they are, but it is your passive-aggressiveness and inability to communicate how you feel that leaves this weak-minded impression of you in them. you can never truly understand why other people in the same position as you are not being treated the same way as you until you realize that it all boils down to how you deal with it, which tells something about you that is obvious to others but not yourself. in fact, the very answer to your question lies in your own post:

if it's not anyone's business to know who you like and hang out with, then why are you not making that clear to them? they might not realize that what they're doing is harmful in any way unless you're going to give them a clear signal that you don't want to partake in such situations. therefore, you should work on being more expressive and let others around you understand where you're coming from instead of pushing them away and forcing them to read between the lines. if you can't see yourself do it, then ask yourself if your priorities really line up with your needs. if life is "too" short for you to be seeking fulfillment in other people, then so is wasting your emotional energy into petty people and petty matters that can be resolved if you just learn to nope yourself out whenever it's needed. i'd argue that knowing how to navigate your way around social situations and improving your emotional intelligence is just as important (if not more) as any other life goals you might be aiming for since an external measure of status (your scholarship, field of study etc) is ultimately little to nothing in the face of something much more influential like your personality.

last but not least, it goes without saying that: you should definitely seek a therapist, a trusted person, or an outlet to pour your feelings onto if this problem keeps debilitating your mental health, but it really is just a matter of being assertive and not allowing people to take advantage of you. if you want to be seen as a valid human being then give yourself the same treatment and see how that goes. much love.

Kitten a dit :
Sea a dit :
Kitten a dit :
big wall of text

it's a breath of fresh air to see someone like you who has a different perspective of things. even if you are young and just starting out in life, i appreciate your willingness to live life to its fullest and i wish you all the best in that regard.

generally speaking here, it's pretty simple to see why alot of people fall into depression or hopelessness, because it is easy to attach one's self-worth to external circumstances and allow that to distort their perceptions, so much that they've become conditioned to think that life is beyond their control and suicide is the only option to free themselves. that is never ever a solution to begin with, although the undeniably fluctuating state of life is not something that everyone can endure equally.

in simple words, people are not static. we're all capable of growing for the better or worse. we can't control the fact that our lives aren't perfect and that we momentarily find ourselves in unfavourable situations with unfavourable people. though you can't also deny that factors like that can surely take a toll on people's psychological well-being no matter how positive anyone tries to be. because we live in a world that is so violatile and changeable and it is totally okay for us not to be happy 100% of the time, i don't think plain euphoria is the solution here (and medicine can only do such much, never always the go-to for all mental problems), but i do think natural happiness and contentment is a by-product of detachment, and that comes by working on a mindset that is founded by mindfulness of the things that matter, patience and accepting things as they come and go without investing too much of yourself, etc. etc. no matter who you are and what your struggles may be.

some people like to assume that this "positivity bogus" won't work for them because THEY themselves are not aware that our very essence, what we do, what we think and how all this influences the people around us is actually something that's completely within our control. no matter what advice you recieve or reassurance or respect you recieve, you're the only one who needs to be willing to use the resources given to you and make them work for your own good.

sure, i know that sounds like alot of work, and it is. i personally found that self-introspection and coming to understand the value of religion (ex. the role it plays in my life) helps alot and i think it could tremendously help you all as well, but i encourage you to have an open mind and take whatever approach helps you become your best self because it all comes from within you. make self-improvement your biggest priority and only then will the world improve for you.

on a completely different note, hope you're taking good care of yourself. i see alot of potential and i am positive that you can be a beacon of light for everybody if you continue to cultivate that aspect of you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE SO KIND AND SWEET. I appreciate your advice, it's very heartwarming thank you so much. i am not sure whats a self instrospection but i am extremely grateful towards you for teaching me a new addition to vocabulary. i will be taking what you said and think about it as i mature out of my adolescent years. i would love to improve myself but i don't really care because im happy and thats already good enough!!!! i have seen that nobody here is able to control their emotions and thats apart of human nature but i hope people feel better about it because nobody should ever feel that way unless you're a sadistic freak. i dont like seeing people sad even if i dont know them you know? why would they feel like that for something so unnecessary... but thank you for enlightening me with your words. i truly appreciate the time you took out of your day to write all of that ♥️

aww you remind me alot of my past self. an uncontrollable ball of optimism.
i, too, feel alot for people's sadness even if i think that alot of situations could've been dealt with rationally or blown out of proportion. it's absolutely okay to feel sadness every now and then, but like i said, our emotions are a result of our mindset and are not something to be fixed or kept in a jar, and for some people to understand what to do with that information, it takes a substantial amount of maturing, experience and/or guidance. also you can just google up "how to introspect yourself" as a start and you'll find many articles on the matter but anyways, it's been wonderful talking to you and i do hope that you never lose the brighter side of things when life goes rough on you. you're just that sweet!

#2095

I have been trying to be more positive, but lately I have been getting killer migraines/headaches, and that is normal for me, but lately I just feel too upset, and the migraines are bad, and since it's a combination of emotional and physical pain I feel awful. Not a single person in real life takes me seriously, and I have tried everything in reach to get rid of the migraines/headaches, but nothing works fast enough or that well. I stopped going to therapy, and switching over to a different place. I think the therapy place I last was in though was driving me crazy. I just am tired of the repetitive stuff that happens to me like people taking advantage of me, and being alone, and I don't have any friends or anyone I could talk to. I feel hurt, and I haven't cried in quite a long time, and I don't usually cry, but I cried on my birthday, and I cried the day before my birthday. I keep asking myself when will things get better, but every single time I think things are getting better, and I put a lot of effort into it somehow I'm screwed over.

#2096

I genuinely hate myself in every possible way and believe I'm ugly, disgusting, stupid, unloved, and alone no matter what I say or do.
I am incredibly unhappy with everything in my life and I constantly feel like shit.
I'm wrong and poorly made and the only thing I can say I like about myself are my eyes and hair and even 97% of the time, I still hate them and the way I look. I want to be taller, skinnier, and prettier. I want a better body, better skin, a nicer voice, longer hair, clothes that look good on me. I wish I took better care of myself and was constantly clean, fresh, and smelled like heaven.
I am always comparing myself to other people for different things and it just puts me down lower and lower and lower.
I'm constantly too mentally drained to do my work. I'm stupid. I'm untalented. I'm sensitive. I'm clingy. I'm unproductive. I'm unhealthy. I'm unlovable. I'm hated. I'm untrustworthy. I'm problematic. I'm toxic. I'm a bad friend and I'm a bad person.
My friends don't even feel like friends, just people who talk to me because they pity me. I can never tell when they're actually being nice or just saying things to make me feel better and shut up, I have to second guess everything. Not even my own family loves me and the only "person" who does is my dog. I wish my parents never split. I wish my mom never died. I wish my grandparents and brother weren't the way they are. I wish I was never raped or abused in any way. I wish I wasn't diseased.
I don't want Cystic Fibroses, CFRD, depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, and everything else wrong with me. I'm tired of taking medication and doing treatments. I'm exhausted with being alive and I wish I was a different, better person or even just dead.
Even as I cried writing this, I felt terrible. The sound of my voice. The struggle to take a breath. The sound of the sniffling. The excessive snot. The way the tears burned my skin like acid. The post-crying headache. I hated every second of it. Nothing made me feel better afterwards, not even masturbation or music. All I can do now is lay in bed, drink water, and throw myself a private pity party behind a locked door in a dark room and then head to online class in the next few hours, acting like everything is fine and I can do my work.

I've just been in such a rut for so long and I don't know if I can get out.

#2097

(Just ranting about school and stuff)

maybe if I can stop suffering from burnout then my life will be better
though I guess when I think about it, I gave it to my myself and ignored the warning signs because "omg school's more important than life (thanks parents, love y'all too)"

I mean
I'm always going to bed at 2 AM because of cramming school assignments
My memory's turning into dung (I... can't even remember what I ate last night lmao)
and I can never destress at all
It lowkey hurts to live everyday tbh
but!!!school will be over!!!! next week!!!!
and my teachers see this and say "yo, what a great time to drop big projects, amirite?" *forces us to do big assignments that make me want to die*
and I still have summer school after this hejfdhfdujfsuijfesuhebjvhljfd

sorry guys, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel atm
these projects are causing me so much stress but that's most likely because my parents are threatening to take away my electronics aka all contact with the person I live for and I don't want to go through that again
not being able to speak with them while I was in the hospital was pure torture, mannn

ah well, gotta keep going through life and be a capitalist slave for the greater good
hahahahahaha I love my life

also I'm having a meeting with my threapist (who I haven't spoken to in years) and I'm already feeling super anxious because it's like I haven't improved at all
hopefully deep breaths can kill my anxiety but I really doubt it
aaaaaaaaa I'm so nervous, sorry guys

@ person who I live for, if they end up reading this
I'll be fine bab, just focus on your own needs and not mine 'cause I'll get through this all fine :^3

Dernière modification le

#2098

My feelings don't matter LMAO

#2099

Whoever wants to talk or just wants a virtual hug has a warm welcome in my DMs <3

#2100

English	Français
Português do Brasil	Español
Türkçe	Polski
Magyar	Română
العربية	Skandinavisk
Nederlands	Deutsch
Bahasa Indonesia	Русский
中文	Filipino
Lietuvių kalba	日本語
Suomi	עברית
Italiano	Česky
Hrvatski	Slovensky
Български	Latviešu
Estonian

Langue