Because I was busy thinking of ways to murder you without getting caught

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Why did you just stab that dog?

cuz he was barking and it pissed me off

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why did u just throw my dog against the wall

Um.. Hello? I'm Satan.

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Why did you just steal all the cookies out my house?

cuz im a thief...

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why did u just threat me?

Because I do that to get my way now get on your knees and beg for me to spare you

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Why did you just slap your doctor?

cuz he harassed me

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why did u just steal my iphone

Obviously to see your contacts and mimic your voice so you lose all of them so you're infinitely and utterly alone

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Why did you just tell me about your day? You were talking for 3 hours

nah its impossible, days have been very boring since corona started so i could describe it in 1 minute

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why did u just give me vodka?

Ew I'd never allow you to consume alcohol around me

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Why did you just give me your house?

xD u really know what happens when i get high. cuz me and my parents decided to explode our house so i called u and gave it to u

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why did u just point a gun at my forehead

Oh this? This is just a toy. I'm really gonna suffocate you

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Why did you just try to kill me?

cuz u were gonna suffocate me so i tried to shoot u but the gun failed :(

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why did u just try to suffocate me

Cuz watching you slowly die is fun!

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Why did you just get plastic surgery?

Because that's what fake people do to seem pretty

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Why did you just throw a microwave?

cuz u would microwave me so i tried to break it

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why did u just insult me

Because I don't like you? Or maybe I'm just naturally rude.

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Why did you just hug me?

cuz u needed it

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why did u just hurt me

Because I do that to people and I LOVE Doing it to people

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Why did you just respond?

cuz im bored

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why did u just tell me that u hate me?

Because it's easier to hate you than it is to care for you as a friend, lover, or just a human being in general ALSO hatred is something I'm good at

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Why did you just eat dog food?