It is not wrong, as long as one does not realize you are in love with another

skullbacsix a dit :

It is not wrong, as long as one does not realize you are in love with another

what if you love neither

tbh I don't see the point in "love" to me all it is, is just the human version of nationalism. I like to spread my reach out more, why focus on one person when you could experience 10 different people. And why do you have to love any of them.

Mousechris a dit :

skullbacsix a dit :VoirMasquer

It is not wrong, as long as one does not realize you are in love with another

what if you love neither

tbh I don't see the point in "love" to me all it is, is just the human version of nationalism. I like to spread my reach out more, why focus on one person when you could experience 10 different people. And why do you have to love any of them.

Quality over quantity. Humans tend to have one or two people they are very close to, and those tend to be "partners" or "best friends" because they can't invest their emotions and time into many more than that and keep the same level of intimacy. 10 people would be much more casual and possibly unfulfilling relationships, unless you are simply the type to always keep people at a distance and be content with that.

Love is just a fancy word for a deep level of intimacy that really has no meaning because it means different things to everyone.

Yeah I guess

hey so what about dating both

I mentioned that but we never really, discussed it

Dude, that's called cheating.

unless it's polygamy

Haruhitastic a dit :

Dude, that's called cheating.

why does it have to be cheating

Doitsudoitsu a dit :

unless it's polygamy

isn't that marriage? No way, not that, I'm talking about just dating both, with both's consent

Mousechris a dit :

Haruhitastic a dit :VoirMasquer

Dude, that's called cheating.

why does it have to be cheating

dating = commitment
commitment = being with only one person
being with only one person = U DONT BE WITH ANOTHER

Mousechris a dit :

isn't that marriage? No way, not that, I'm talking about just dating both, with both's consent

that's called polyamory which u wont find many people ok with

it doesn't have to mean you're committed at all, nor does committing mean only to one person

imo as long as everyone's consenting I'd love to date multiple people. Committing is marriage, not dating, dating is trying a person out, seeing if you'd want to commit to them.

we'll just have to agree to disagree then because i know myself and plenty of others see dating as a commitment as well.

So then how do you know you want to commit yourself to your date, before you date them then? Hm?

sounds more like you mean you want multiple friends with benefits to me mousechris

No that's different, if you date someone, and if you like them, maybe it will lead to marriage, me personally I will never marry, but that never says I won't commit to anyone ^-^

but if according to you committing is marriage, but you dont want to marry, that implies you wouldnt commit to someone so basically youve created yourself a paradox?

Mousechris a dit :

So then how do you know you want to commit yourself to your date, before you date them then? Hm?

i don't feel up to answering this right now, but dating has two different terms that people use. either for boyfriend/girlfriend or someone who you go on dates with. i am referring to the former. i believe you are referring to the latter.

No, it's like a function

commitment doesn't HAVE to mean marriage, but marriage has to mean commitment

I'm referring to both, I see no difference

What happens if you date someone, and they like to kiss in a way you're not ok with, you can't just break up with them if you're committed to them. In marriage in order to divorce a lot of legal stuff goes through

If I even commit to someone, I want to test them out first, that's why I don't think committing should be in the dating area, because that's when you test them out, it's a lot like making a map, I cant just make a map and expect it to work, I have to test it.

Mousechris a dit :

What happens if you date someone, and they like to kiss in a way you're not ok with, you can't just break up with them if you're committed to them.

no?? you... tell them? and discuss it? because communication is a key in relationships?

im done with this discussion tbh ive stated my opinion on the op's sitch

yeah, you tell them while you date

the test

if they don't like it, you go to someone else, but if you're committed to them, that's like breaking your commitment

She should probably stay friends with both until she figures out who she's more compatible with. similar doesn't mean the same and one of those quirks about their personality, reasoning, and/or actions on how they handle things can be a deal breaker.

Compatibility is a big deal because it can determine a lot with communication and romance, things probably even as simple as finishing the significant other's sentences. Especially with how long a relationship will last through the good and bad.

Personality is better than looks, but the looks are what usually draw you in. If you don't find someone attractive it's not going to work in the long run.

no because they're potential and not official