doctor, doctor! I accidentally ate illuminati doritos and now they're trying to make me illuminati!

OK! *Smears cake all over you and takes the Illuminati doritos away*

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Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my arm!

Fired!

Succumb to the demons and let your arm burn off, child... let it happen!

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Doctor, Doctor! My.. My leg! It's burning! Help!

doctor, doctor, I ate a poisoned elephant in Ibiza 3 days ago!

Wow, really? Well, do you want another? I have TONS in the back. (shoves another one into face and breaks nose)

Doctor, Doctor! My face is frozen in ice!

:U*takes hair dryer and melts the ice and lights math near face to warm up your face :U*

Doctor! I fell down and can't get up!

FIRED!

Don't worry! I can help you! *grabs shovel and digs a hole for you because if you can't go up you go down*

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Doctor! Doctor! My lungs have collapsed!

I'll take 'em off

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Doctor! Doctor! My sister is dying!

GO WITH HER! *Kills you* ( Gosh.. morbid xD )

Doctor! Doctor! I need braces

FIRED!

I didn't have any water so i used mercury instead!

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Doctor! Doctor! I seem to have lost my sight!

Fired!Whats Mercury got to do with dental care!

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*takes out your eyes and replaces them with state-of-the-art can openers*

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Doctor! My brain is tired from this ridiculously complicated forum game!

Boss : SUCK OFF THIS JOB. oh ok cuts ur face off and throws out in the bin

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Doctors!Doctors! im gonna destroy you all for not caring for us *takes a emarld to become super sonic + dark sonic +silver sonic + hyper sonic = Unstopplable sonic

Good job, you're not fired!

ILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM! *floods hospital*

dOCTOR dOCTOR i hAVE iNCORRECT cAPITALISATION sYNDROME

I can't fire you, you flooded the hospital! There's no hospital to be fired from!

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I'LL FIX IT! *Destroys keyboard*

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DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I'm too obsessed with Harry Potter!

I can't fire for that...

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DOCTOR DOCTOR! Some friend injected Mary Blood.

Okay injects more

Doctor doctor! I took an arrow to the knee!

Fired..! You used the wrong solution!

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Oh, oh my god! The blood! Aaah... (faints on patient and pushes arrow in more)

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Doctor, doctor! My leg was torn off by rabid dogs!

Okay, I'll try to help.
*pours salt and pond water into wound and then bandages with dirty sandpaper*
*cooks mutilated leg into soup*
Here, eat this. It'll make your leg grow back.

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FIRED! You didn't apply anesthetic!
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Doctor, Doctor! The entire right side of my head has been charred to a crisp and my eyeball is popping out!

LET THE DEMONS TAKE YOU

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DOCTOR I'M ADDICTED TO GORILLAZ HELP

FIRED!

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YOU WONT AFTER THIS! *RELEASES MUTANT GORILLA TO KILL YOU*

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Doctor! Doctor! I have the flu