Atelier 801
Atelier 801 
| [EN] The Comfort Corner! |
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| life is so hard right now cuz im still trying to figure out who i want to be when im older and i want to be so many things and make my parents proud but im afraid im gonna let them down |
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Tribu  Chlobro  « Censeur » 1502121900000
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berryspecial a dit : i don't know how much time there is for a decision but worrying about it is not going to help. take it slow and enjoy every moment you have, and if you find something that interests you write it down for later to research a bit. i've never dealt w this type of experience but i believe you should do what you would like to because this will probably be your job in the future. don't listen to what your parents say about jobs do what you would like, not anyone else. it might take a while to figure it out but the beauty of it all is that you'll be able to do what you want as your carreer in the future. if you can, wait a bit before deciding and find more things that interest you! elinormus a dit : as said before, you should tell him how you feel. it's gonna be hard of course but if you still love him, tell him! tell him you feel you both are growing cold, maybe if you don't have the same feelings for each other, try to become friends again. it's hard because you were together and judging how he's reacting it didn't end well but you both should find a peace. you never know, he might feel the same way about you still!! Nibblerrat a dit : i think if you both weren't talking much it's fine you aren't friends w him anymore. even if you were close friends before. i think you did the right thing and maybe if you see him online one day you can try talking a bit. you can always ask why he hasn't talked to you much, but for the time being i believe you were right in doing so and if you feel it isn't, talking to him a bit again would be the best shot. also, make sure to sleep, 3 am is very early! |
| Eironeia « Sénateur » 1502185680000
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| Removed Dernière modification le 1513374420000 |
Eironeia Xepots  « Citoyen » 1502219580000
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| My best friend committed suicide. It has been a few weeks but I still can't accept it. She was really important to me. We did everything together and now my life feels so empty without her. She was my only friend and she mattered to me so much.Whenever I was sad she cheered me up and made me happy. She was always there for me. When I found out what she did I couldn't believe that she was gone and that the person who I had known my whole life was no longer there. I know it's not my fault but I feel like I could've helped her before she did it. I'm still grieving and I can't get over what happened. |
Xepots| 3 | ||
| @xepots I really feel for you, i've never had the experience that you just had, and it must be difficult to accept your best friends suicide.i dont know for sure this will help because i knew if this similar tragedy happened to me then i wouldn't be able to cope much either and really advice to me wouldn't be much closure at all but you need to think about this. It hurts now and it will hurt for many months to come. you wouldn't just get over it because u guys wre really close werent you. But instead of thinking about the past, try living in the present, because that is what your friend would want for you. to live your life, to not forget her obviously but.. instead of dwelling on the negatives try and think of the positives in your life.. like for example your family and your passions. not focus on the bad memories, but the good memories when she was still alive and think that it you haven't lost her forever. shes in peace now, and she isn't feeling any pain. whatever the reason she did it i think she must of struggled alot to hide it and she couldn't take it anymore.But again, you have a whole life ahead of you, and her departing earth isn't forever. you were one day reunite with her, like old times. just stay strong. Dernière modification le 1502301540000 |
Spazmycat  « Censeur » 1502321520000
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| mmm yes don't you love with when someone who was once your friend tells you to fuck off twice and to go die simply because you asked for 1 simple thing from them that they won't ever use again and they even stated they won't use it |
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| @berryspecial don't let your your parents influence what you want to do. i know it's hard, but if there's something you absolutely want to do, then work up to it and prove them wrong if they said you couldn't or shouldn't do it. whatever the case may be, please do what you think is best for you. i don't know you or them and so i can't really say, unfortunately, but i don't think you're doing the wrong thing at all if you're doing something you enjoy. would you rather be happy with what you're doing, or succumb to them and what they want for you? it's a hard question and certainly not one you can make by simply dwelling on it, i don't think. researching different things that interest you may be helpful, and then you should go from there, regardless of what they want. i'm here to chat if you find that you need someone to talk to but don't know where to turn! @spazmycat that's dumb on their part, honestly, and it's when petty things like that set others off so much to the point of saying those kinds of things that you know it's time to cut off contact with them. negativity like that isn't good in your life, especially if it's not meant to be or isn't taken as a joke on either side. i hope the part about "was once your friend" can be taken as you implying you're cutting them out of your life, which seems like it'd be the best bet if they genuinely upset you and aren't apologizing or caring about it at all. even if they did apologize, it seems as though it was a repetitive thing and their apologies probably aren't entirely sincere. ahh, other than that, i wish you luck. please don't let their words bother you too much, seeing as how they probably don't deserve an acceptance to their apology (if you ever got one) and it's not worth stressing over. if you ever want to talk, i'm usually online and active! :') |
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| my older cat died this morning i dont know how to deal with this she has been around since i was born and before that too i jsut fuck dude she was 16 or 17 already and i know thats really old for a ca t b utgfkjn |
Parpgem  « Censeur » 1502754300000
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| why does everyone have to be so mean... |
Viviamus  « Citoyen » 1502755380000
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| i miss my boyfriend but he doesn't miss me yet he says he loves me.. i cant stop cutting it makes me calm. My dad's girlfriend saw my arm but didnt say anything |
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Thiapet a dit : cause u just havent found the right people yet, theres that minority of assholes but a majority of decent beings, just give it time |
| Cloverstone « Citoyen » 1502833500000
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| Welp. Looks like I'm back here again. Hello friends. So there's this girl I know (not quite a friend) who really does scare me. Just, the things she tells me really have me and a bunch of others alarmed. I think she has some sort of disorder? Could anyone tell me if there is a disorder for the following behaviors? *Constant guilt-tripping- Which is when you give all these excuses and sob stories in order to get what you want or to win any sort of disagreement by getting the other person to pity you, even if you are in the wrong *Being uncaring about all of those around you. This person has said that they do not care about any of their family, they don't care if their cat dies, and the only thing they care about is this "one, true friend." *Unhealthy obsession with said friend/person, wanting to do nothing but to please them. Also holds them on a very high pedestal as if they were jesus himself: An example of this is how she said "I told her that if she were lonely/alone that I would turn myself gay for her :3" Incredibly clingy *Consistently changes stories around *claims to have calmly watched a kid almost-drown and a bunch of other spooky stuff. that's just a bare-bones list of it. Is this just an edgy 12-year-old I'm dealing with or should I be concerned O___O |
Atearatareta  « Censeur » 1502858880000
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| @cloverstone sounds like a sociopath. it may be a phase, but i'd watch out. |
Komuyu  « Citoyen » 1502892240000
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Cloverstone a dit : Atearatareta a dit : nah, doubt it's a sociopath all that much. honestly, she isn't even that old enough to be considered an actual sociopath, so no. anyways, this sounds like somewhat of a situation i had to deal with, but not exactly like it. i would recommend you to be alert and aware of your surroundings around this person, because obviously she isn't all that well in the head currently. her obsession could also be the one leading her to act like this, or she could be influenced by something. she may also have something wrong in the brain and doesn't mature as fast as other kids do, which is something one of my friends have. keep in mind that this attitude of hers can also make her lie a lot, so her claiming to have calmly watched a kid drown can either be a lie or the truth, but i suggest you stay unbiased towards that. but how does this friend act towards the person? that's what my true question here is. |
| Cloverstone « Citoyen » 1502919120000
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| I wish i knew, man. I wish i knew. EDIT: This girl who i think may have the disorder (i refer to her as swift) is an animal jam friend. (Yes, yes animal jam is for children like, way younger than me but most of my friends aren't allowed to have transformice or don't want to risk being caught with it so we usually interact there) and this friend she talks about is her irl friend, someone I know nothing about and cannot contact. But she claims her friend is straight too so idk the point in swift "turning herself gay for her?" Swift has also said her "one possibly true friend" is her sister in the past. Which makes my mind wander places i'd rather it not be. Dernière modification le 1502920020000 |
| Komuyu « Citoyen » 1502922180000
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Cloverstone a dit : how old is your friend? does she often get into arguments with you or others a lot? do people make fun of her often and bully her? when she gets pissed off, does she give a glare? |
Ayumiouo  « Consul » 1502951820000
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| I've been holding this inside for a long time and I just really, really need to let this all out... if I ever do. Warning: it's really long feel free to quote, I don't really care. This is probably a small issue compared to everybody else's issues, but ah well. Maybe I'm just doubting my importance yet again. Alright, here goes nothing. So for the past month, I've been constantly feeling really heavy negative emotions, particularly ones that make me feel that I'm extremely messed up in the head and that the people around me who support me really hate me on the inside. They go hand in hand for the most part, but I'll explain about my mentality first. Honestly, it feels like my mentality is stuck in a continuous downward spiral. I'm always degrading myself and whenever I make even a small mistake, the annoying person inside my head scolds me so hard for it, it makes me feel like complete crap. Like, how can you mess up something so simple so easily? That, and even for some actions that I doubt at first, that same person in my head downright insults me and makes me feel sick just because I'm always hesitating over small things, especially things I don't know. They make me feel more bad than I should and sometimes even their words make me feel like harming myself, even though I hate even the thought of doing that to my own body. It's like someone, the "common, normal person in society" is always judging me for everything I do but they're a permanent part of my mind, I can't ever get rid of them, and they'll always be insulting me for the rest of eternity. This also carries over about how I see my friend(s), too... Let me make this clear before I continue: No, my friend isn't like this. It's just my mind that warps how I think about them. I have a friend here on the forums that has been really helping me out with these kinds of issues, giving me support and good advice to help make me feel better about myself. However, as of late, I've just been so negative that I feel like I'm figuratively "blind", so to speak. They do keep offering me more helpful advice, but I'm just so jaded thanks to my mind that it feels like whatever they say to try to help me, my mind twists it so bad, I just can't "see" the true meaning of the words anymore. Every single message I write always includes me trying to vent out my negative feelings, and I feel bad for them because they are probably really sick and tired of having to listen to my never ending bullshit every single day. I don't know, maybe they've already snapped but they don't want me to know that just so maybe I could feel better... but I don't. In fact, I feel worse and worse every passing day that I would be surprised if they haven't snapped at all, and that they have the patience for all that (prob because I'm a pretty impatient person as is when it comes to dealing with stuff I don't know.) Honestly, they're probably just really worried about me, mainly because they said they had to deal with the same stuff in the past. I feel incredibly sorry, they try to help me again and again, but my mind thinks of it as pity and just sinks even lower into despair, writing out my negative thoughts even though I don't want to write them anymore... I'm just so, so sorry if you're reading this, my friend.... it's all my fault that I'm this way. I truly appreciate you trying to help me, but just... I can't see what it's worth anymore... please forgive me, I'm just so messed up that.... GAHH I'M JUST FURTHER ILLUSTRATING MY POINT. I'm sorry for all caps, it's kinda frustrating that I get this way all the time when I think about my friend and how she might leave me alone, alone to deal with this incredibly heavy burden. I'm just sorry to everyone, because their wonderful advice just keeps falling on my deaf ears... not this time, I swear! Maybe... I think... I don't know... probably not. See what I mean yet again? *sigh* I'm just so scared that this feeling, even though I might push it off me again, it'll come back to haunt me, like last time, and just remind me of how much of a failure I am, and how nobody will ever notice me/this issue of mine and say something about it. I've already mentioned it a lot in other discussions, but it's probably my super fear of being forgotten aka athazagoraphobia that's killing my mentality. I'm scared that because I'm so shy, even when I try to project this problem to others, they'll just say that it's just some small issue that I should just get over and leave me alone. Yet at the same time, I can't. This feeling keeps returning to me over and over again, I'm starting to feel like it's a normal thing for me, even though I know that it's not. It's like a monster is controlling my body and my brain, making me worry so much over small stuff and say so many negative things about myself to my best friend (if they even view me as a friend..). I can never shake it off, and I'm just so scared about it. I know I'm kinda repeating myself (another negative thing I keep doing), but it's how I truly feel. I'm scared of losing my only friend here. I'm scared of potentially having to deal with this depression every month. Most of all though.., I'm scared that I'll never be able to move on, no one will ever help me, and my friend will leave me behind, sick and tired of having to deal with my stupid, just downright stupid mess that I call my mentality... or rather, me. I'm just so dumb and deluded that I blame other things instead of myself just to hide my guilt away, though I know deep down that this, this total mess is 100% my fault... that I wasn't smart or perfect enough to handle this situation... Please someone, anyone... I don't mean to overly beg or anything, but... Save me from this mess I've become, and free me from this endless downward spiral of negative emotions. advice and/or any helpful responses would be great / fantastic. also ps: I don't have a counselor just yet, my parents will find me one after some other issues cool down small edit if my words were weapons at that time let's just say that I would be looking really bad rn Dernière modification le 1502972460000 |
| Cloverstone « Citoyen » 1502970480000
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Mukasasha a dit : 1: Swift's 12. 2: YES 3: Not often...? I wouldn't know. But I know a lot of people don't necessarily like her (which i assume is because of her behavior) 4: No, she will try to make you pity her though. |
Lobolove  « Consul » 1502975220000
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Ayumiouo a dit : Hi buddy, I'm sorry you have to go through all this, but things will work out! Not sure if your friend ever recommended this to you but- stop writing about your negative thoughts. Write about positive thoughts instead! Start a journal where you'd commit to write in one or two positive thoughts, per day. That could be something you achieved or if you are grateful about something or someone. You acknowledged your friend's will to help you unconditionally and now you just need to acknowledge your accomplishments. That will build up a book of stuff you can look at and say "I did this" and be proud about when you'll feel down. Try to set small goals-- for example, what is that the little voice in your head telling you that's so easy to do, but you fail? Try to work towards accomplishing those things. Overcome your mentality and change it to something much more healthier. The thing is, your friend is probably not going to help you more than I can or your future therapist, which means... it's all down to you! The only thing we can do is to keep you on track, praising you about stuff you wouldn't notice otherwise (which is the idea behind the journal) and cheer you up when you feel awfully down, but you'll have to be brave and make things change by yourself. It's within your willpower, you can do this, I'm sure. :) |
| Komuyu « Citoyen » 1503002160000
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Ayumiouo a dit : i found your situation interesting, so i decided to be the one to give you advice. anyways, any other person would've either ignored you or would've just replied with things like "HEHEHE TSAY POSITIVE <333" "THINGS WILL GET BETTER GURLLL <333" "listen to kpo p irposmise its good...." BUT ANYWAYS... i'll start with this; nobody can save you completely, not even the advice i'll give you save you from the hellhole you're going through, because only you can support yourself and use the riddles given to you and solve them yourself. another thing, too. do you really think that even somebody smart or "perfect" would be able to handle this situation easily, as well? no. it'd be tough for them. it'd be tough to rationalize, tough to do anything without thinking they're pathetic, but that is why they must progress and reach their goal and fight against the opponent that's driving them crazy. it sounds like you have incredibly low self-esteem, which goes along with VERY low confidence. you doubt yourself, which prevents you from doing things or feeling proud of yourself. you depreciate yourself, a lot. not only that, but you also give yourself way too much self-discipline. this little figure in your mind who's just talking you down is yourself doing that. you don't believe in your abilities, you think you're worthless and you just overanalyze everything. it causes you to see your friends differently, see yourself differently, see almost everything the opposite way than how it really is. listen, no advice will help you if you can't help yourself, and that may sound harsh but sugarcoating will only make your problems worse. it'd only give you false hope and false beliefs, which would lead you to a pit of despair and wondering who's lying or not. who do you believe? who should you trust? those will be the questions that would fill up your mind along with your own low confidence that runs you over. don't expect the situation you're in to stop immediately, because it will take time and it'll take effort and determination to fix it all. you may think you're a terrible person, but honestly, you aren't. you aren't even one bit of terrible, and i can still say this despite the fact i don't know you. i know what "terrible" is, and you certainly aren't it. you're just a person struggling through their own sea of issues, with a strong wave crashing against you each time and you end up giving up so you allow it to take you in and all your mind becomes is an ocean of emotions. sappy wording, i know, but that's basically how it is. you allow everything to take over you, allow it to push you over, allow yourself to become a weakling. you allow your emotions to MANIPULATE you into further despair. now, what i will say is that putting mind over matter can be very hard for many people and depending on the circumstances as well, so don't think i'm saying it'll be easy. but you have to at least try. try doing things that you may find interesting, or just try new stuff. make yourself want to go on adventures, make yourself feel like a god. but how? i cannot tell you how, only you can figure that out yourself. your friends advice may be going through one ear and out the other because now you can no longer rely on anybody else's support or comfort. it's gotten old for you. you're far too used to it. so now it's time to think to yourself, what is it that you really want? are you actually determined to solve the problem? are you truly motivated to make a change, no matter how long it takes? will you condone your impatience and allow it to overcome you? try to do some thinking, however something tells me your little confidence crusher will just crush your train of thought and make you feel terrible. why don't you prove me wrong, though? |