okay so I've started cutting again bc I stopped for a few weeks after my mom found out a lot of my issues n stuff bc I was scared of confrontation again but I started again and I've also noticed a few of my habits returning.. like... suicidal thoughts and things have been more frequent than 'normal', I guess.. I know it's dumb that I'm not just going to someone with my concerns like "oh I think I might kill myself" or whatever but I'm just not concerned I will.. it's confusing. It's hard to go to people and tell them anything face to face, and by now I would've definitely told my online friend --who I tell everything bc she wants me to and I've kind of been relying on that-- because my mom told me I can't talk to her anymore and honestly, I'm just a mess trying to keep myself somewhat stable through everything I've accidentally done to myself.. I feel like I should apologize to anyone who reads this but it's the comfort corner, designed for help, so I guess I shouldn't?

i'm sorry that you're going through that, please don't cut any more and damage yourself physically - physical and mental health go hand in hand so it's important that you try to stay as healthy as a person as possible. I think the best option for you right now is to go seek therapy, but if you don't want to it's an understandable choice for you to make since it's really tough to be brave enough to reveal your problems to the world (but you did it here, and that's a big step).

Since I'm just a stranger over the internet, you don't have to listen to me and I can't really help much, but I think that if you ever get the urge to start cutting or have suicidal thoughts, please try to get yourself distracted by something, this can literally be anything; youtube videos, transformice, etc. I don't really have anything to offer to you on how to improve yourself, but whatever you think you can do to improve yourself: please do it, and if if you can't do it, do it in small steps.

PM me if you want to talk more.

Ey man. I hope everything willl go well for you. I don't know how to give advice, but just, keep your head up. Even if your family doesn't support you, you should be happy that at leat you have some people that accept you as you are. I know it hurts and it hurts even more coming from your family, but if the world wants to be this way,,, I hope you'll have a nice life, and don't forget, the rainbow appears after the rain!

well. I've been doing badly as usual, but now I've just been really unmotivated to do anything and now have a presentation I didn't finish due tomorrow and a mask for English class that I turned in two days late. so I have that "stress" (idk if that's what I call it, bc I know what I have to do but im just.. not doing it.. augh) and 'm walking alone to the library now (I used to walk alone, then I had a car incident where I ran in front of one when I wasnt paying as much attention to myself as I should've been (i wasnt hurt) but now I have a fear of cars in the road when im walking, especially when alone, and then my friend who doesnt klnow about this fear started walking with me, and he has track now after school so im all alone again.. he started this monday and every day after school ive just been terrified to walk outside and it takes me like ten minutes to go out there.. and I've just been sad in general but depression makes things worse. I've been getting stuck in my thoughts a lot recently, and when I'm stuck in my thoughts it gets dark pretty quickly so that's scary as well.. I dunno. I'm trying, but it's really hard to do anything school related since I'm just trying to keep myself alive and stable enough to function mostly normally but I can't exactly walk up to my teachers and say "hey, sorry I haven't been doing homework or projects recently, I'm just trying not to kill myself" because that would end up in me going to guidance and I don't feel comftorable there (it's hard enough with my therapist I go to seperately, but the guidance counselors being linked to the school make it even more uncomftorable) so I'd just not say anything and blah blah blah my parents would find out n stuff and I just don't want that fuss.. I don't know what to do.. augh..

so i've been unmotivated for a while now. i've also been sad for longer than that.

however, thing is, im not <super sad> most of the time. but i know that i'm not happy most of the time either.

i am a lone wolf mostly, surrounded by people but alone.

i feel i have issues, but i don't want to talk about them because... reasons, okay, i don't like showing my weaknesses...

here in my country, weakness of the mind is a bad thing and many people don't understand things like mental illnesses and stuff. asian culture? not sure.

i faced a lot of things, but they weren't severe, so i don't think im justified to say im depressed or whatever when there are people that almost died or something like that.

right now the only person i can actually depend on is someone im very close to, but he is depressed too... dysfunctional duo eh

i wish he could go for therapy again, but he is too... unmotivated? to go again. he vents his sadness more than i do...

and no, i will not go for therapy as well, not because im too unmotivated to seek help, but because mental illness isn't taken very seriously here and i don't want to risk it zzz

but at least we have each other to lean on in a world of chaos