RedNin's Ultimate Diary

8/24/2014
Dear Diary.

Today... I have come to write... at least this. I found out that Golden have gotten herself a soulmate and his name is Shyrio. I was kinda upset cuz Animerulez have been wanting to have her as a soulmate for a long time now. But I guess it's Anim's fault cuz he didnt have the guts before. Anyway, whut's done is done.

I wont be that active that much anymore in this coming September due to real-life circumstances. But I can still count on to the Leaders to supervise the tribe. I may have doubts but I shall have trust and feel relief ^^ I still a lot of things to do for the tribe and I hope my motivation can keep me going as the tribe gradually becomes bigger. I've always dream of having the biggest family I could ever have C: I'd like to keep it up. But I cant do it alone, I gotta need the whole family's cooperation ^-^

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16/8/2015

Im currently in love with someone o3o I confessed and got friendzoned. No matter, I'll still chase after her ^-^

It's a long story and whew it's been awhile since I wrote something.

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Aww red, it's okay we still love you

18/8/2015

This day marks my achievement day! After several proposals with several rejections, I finally got Lurksindark to become my soulmate! Kyaaaa~! I'm so happy XD I've waited and hoped long for this phenomena! ☆_☆ I can't say no more.

Aww that's really cute! Congrats! :3

8/9/2015

I forgot to mention. Just recently, I reached the peak of my patience and lost it. Long story short, I excluded some tribe members including those whom have gotten on my nerves for a long time now. During that moment, I had flashbacks and had enough of complaints, insults, discrimination, being looked down on, being hated. Baammm hates those who hates or despises him, I had that exact feeling at that moment. It's basically a bunch of feelings I've kept within me as I've always put a positive front so as not to feel pathetic gushing through my brain and just acted on it. I even kicked a member who just simply replied "m k" because that ticked me off. Yo can compare it to an outburst of irritation and hatred. I don't normally submit myself to my negativity as I've always try to have a positive front, although there were times I did and I had to talk to certain people just to get some burden off my shoulders and feel better. I did talk about everything with someone but still everything didn't feel great, my heart felt heavy, my hands were shaking, I wasn't myself basically. I got tired of being all positive and reconsidered my own idealistic beliefs. I questioned my self and let reality overtake me as I admitted to myself that harmony of good and evil, any kinds of people, everything united, is technically impossible. I never once see a glimpse of hope to such philosophy. There was never such a thing in the first place nor there will ever be.

Anyway, I thought too much and fall asleep. I woke up the next day with a fresh mind. It's all good. In the end, I still believed in the beliefs I believed in. I think I can take on another burden, although I hope I won't break down like that sooner. Well I'm pretty sure it'll be another hundred years for that to happen. I'm a man who recovers fast anyway. I think. Idk.

So you bottle your emotions till they erupted causing mermories to resurface and vilent outlashes to happen?

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xenomphking a dit :
So you bottle your emotions till they erupted causing mermories to resurface and vilent outlashes to happen?

Lol yo can say that xD yo sure know how to describe it well

#10

:) O(∩_∩)O its fine red i do hope u dont get mad that much,think bout it :D

#11

16/9/2015

So today at 2:50pm (SGT), Ive watched the movie, Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials, with a bunch of friends on cinema. It was thrillingly great. Gotta love the twists and turns at the end. Cant wait for a 3rd part.

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#12

THE SCORCH TRIALS WAS A TERRIBLE MOVIE AND YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE BOOK

#13

18/10/2015

So yesterday Saturday 17/10 was my 1st time having a part-time job. It was a wedding event, a banquet. I was like a waiter serving the customers.

My friend and I didn't have a training period despite being it our first time. Good thing that we were a group of 3 and our partner was a really nice experienced person, and she taught both of us on what to do. So we have our own table to serve and our service station was near them.
Serving them the food and clearing up the food every courses, and greeting the VIPs were really tiresome. My legs were starting to hurt, it hurt more than when Im playing basketball for hours.
Long story short, I've made some regretful mistakes. It's good that my customers were nice and understanding people. But they can be really honest when I gave them the feedback paper in which they will tick whether they were satisfied or dissatisfied with the service. Among us 3, Im the only one who had his feedback with a lot of ticked dissatisfaction lol. Some customers are really different in nature, they can be either too kind or too honest.

I wished I was fast and smooth enough. Well I guess it'll take time for me to get used to it.
I hope I wouldnt be too careless as Im usually careless and break things at home and sometimes even at my friends' place. That and I actually broke a couple of bowls when the event was over and we have to clear whatever was on the table. I stacked the bowls too much on the tray and when I slowly carried it, some fell to the ground and got wrecked. Everyone could hear it throughout the place. Im just glad that the manager wasnt there to confront me lol.

Well basically to sum my experience up, it was really hectic. I need to learn to be lesser tense and be chill next time. I seriously need to speak up more.

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#14

im too shy for a freaking job just reading it makes me wanna hide in my bed T^T

#15

21/10/2015

I noticed that a stand of my hair has becoming more thick and white. Apparently, Im having more white hair recently, this Im not sure if due to stress or by some sort of a cause.
I thought it was cool at first but when I saw a junior at school with tons of white hair visible to the naked eye mixed in with his black hair, I found it disturbing and it reminded me of the elder people. Maybe a complete white hair would look cool but probably not white+black hair.

#16

21/10/2015

That's right, recently, my big sister has been trying to deal with a problem. Apparently, an Indian foreigner have come into the country and is at the same workplace as my big sister. The man asked for my sister's HP number. Sister gave it to him thinking that it was for only for work purposes. However, that's not to be the case. Long story short, he has been bugging my sister recently and she wanted him to stop creeping her out by stopping messaging her. It's a bit complicated since the man have been sending my sister SMS in broken English which we could hardly understand. Additionally, my sister had almost been stalked after work, as fortunately she was able to change her usual route and the man lost track of her. This is as briefly as I could get in describing to what had happened.

Seeing my big sister trying not to hurt this man's feeling, or let's just say, she trying to kindly explain to him that she doesnt not want to associate with him whatsoever, reminded me of how I was too soft in the past. Even now Im a bit soft in reality, however, I have learned that when it is necessary, I have to hardened my heart for the sake of stating a point, even if it's gonna contradicts to what I really believed in.
My sister doesnt want the man to misunderstand her of being crude so she tries to make sure her SMS doesnt seems to be that way, so much she reflects of my old self.

My sister and I had a talk. I gave her advice that if she's really tired of him bugging her, then she should be clear and be straightforward about it. I dont mean by having a serious conversation with him because it would take plenty of words and the man wouldnt understand since he seems to be really weak in English. So I suggested to her that she should just give the man answers to whatever questions he sends in a very short and straightforward manner. That's right, the exact same thing that Lurksindark did to me. I told her that sometimes she cannot be too nice forever and she has to be harsh given the circumstances. I think it's about time my sister learns how to express herself strictly and not to be too soft, otherwise that will end up being a weakness.

This is what Ive noticed whenever I reflect on myself. We 3 siblings, my big sister, my big brother and I have been to soft on others, not wanting anyone to be hurt but instead rather chose to get hurt ourselves instead. Doesnt it reminds yo about Ken Kaneki of Tokyo Ghoul when he was getting tortured by Jason? I dont know about my 2 other siblings, but when I reach the peak of my emotional endurance as Im a person who tend to think too much like how I question life everyday, I sometimes wish I can be as savage as not too care anything about laws for the sake of crime and satisfaction over the emotional stress being relieved through savagery.

My dream is to be a fighter. I shall let my fist talk instead of my mouth.

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#17

Waaaow Red's becoming a manly man instead of an intellectual senpai~!

#18

I regret doing that very much Red. But when I snap, I can be a little bit cruel (quite an understatement in which I'm not that proud of).

But anyhow, I wish the best for you and your sister!

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#19

see i believe in an equal balance of "fist and mouth"

you call them a bitch THEN you punch em

#20

Hahaha, I do that in my mind.

Shhh... it's a secret.

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