Susanlwu a dit :

sorry theres just too many grammar errors
if you are writing a story you should probs use correct spelling and grammar
finding the errors


tips:
- Don't use 'said' after each time it really gets repetitive. Some things (eep I forgot what it is called!) you can use are: Exclaimed, asked, yelled, whispered, etc.
- Using '...', a lot of exclamation marks and a lot of question marks make it seem less professional.
- Capitalize I
- Instead of using a bunch of seperate sentences, combine small sentences into one.
eg.
Instead of "I saw her read that book. So I picked it up."
Use "I saw her read that book, so I picked it up."

btw how old are you

Kattiej a dit :

oh yea i did that wrong sry let me correct lol
done.
idk my brain got confuzzled

Susanlwu a dit :

k
also i found it on this site
https://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors

Marliaaa a dit :

grammar*

Iwuvcheesed a dit :

I would have done this before a grammar nazi came o3o
(ps so it wasnt a hacker heh eh eh)
also when is your next chapter out
been a whileeee

Marliaaa a dit :

One day I was walking along the road until I saw a portal so I went to investigate, I went throught the portal and then I felt weird then I saw loads and loads of mice! They all crowded xaround me and were thinkin' "Who is she?"[color] so then told them who I am then I screamed... Wanna know why??? Because I saw that I was a mouse!
"Im a mouse!!!!" I Yelled so I asked this person who was caring , Generous andkind and her name was Iwuvcheesed.
So I asked
"What do I do in this world called "Transformice"??"
(how does she know it's called Transformice?)
"Well, you collect cheese and buy cool accessories in the shop," Iwuvcheesed awnsered
"My name is Iwuv, call me that," She added with a smile
"Where do you live??" Marliaaa asked.
"Its near the cheese-factory, Go west and south and theres my house."
"Hey that Rhymes! Well i'm out of time! " Iwuvcheesed smiled
"Wait whats your name?" She asked
"Marli!" I replied.
"Ok, BYE MARLI," Yelled Iwuvcheesed then they left each other.

Cookiekingss a dit :

um can I just ask if this is in past tense present tense or future tense
it seems like past tense.
but yeah nice story

Marliaaa a dit :

thanks and sorry i dont know if its is wanna be friends again?

Marliaaa a dit :

thanks and sorry i dont know if its is wanna be friends again?

Marliaaa a dit :

When i woke up i heard a bang at the door. So i changed out of my jammies and went to see who was there...
"Hello? How may i help???"
"Hello this package is for you..." Said the mail man
"FOR ME?!" Marliaaa said in a surprised manner.
"Please sign this"
"ok"
So i signed this thingy and shut the door in his face. And i opened the package...
"HELLO!!" Kattiej said suprisingly
"AHHH! HOW DO YOU KNOW WERE I LIVE!!!!"
"Duh... doesent everyone have a Address book??"
"No. And why are you here..."
"Uh... I dont know do you know?"
"No.. anyway lets earn some cheese?
"Sure!"
And off we went


TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Marliaaa a dit :

"Hello this package is for you..." Said the mail man
"HELLO!!" Kattiej said suprisingly
And off we went

Marliaaa a dit :

So i signed this thingy and shut the door in his face. And i opened the package...

Marliaaa a dit :

"Duh... doesent everyone have a Address book??"

Marliaaa a dit :

When i woke up i heard a bang at the door. So i changed out of my jammies ........
So i signed this thingy ....... And i opened the package...

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Marliaaa a dit :

bump
bump

Vivihi a dit :

Okay first of all...

Who the heck is speaking?? Is it just the air?

Second, you have to add PERIODS.

For example... at these sentences.

What is this ''thingy''? Be more specific, or else your readers won't understand you.
Ahem, it's ''doesn't''

Lastly, many people told you to make the i's CAPTIAL when referring to first person. So, you have to change some of them from i to I
Like:
Yeah, sorry if some ppl already mentioned some of these things.

Pangaeaj a dit :

Name/Nickname: Pangaeaj, a nickname is preferably Pan please.

Ref:
About me: I am not the best artist, but I am fond of writing. I love to write fanfics about all sorts of things. I am usually really joyful but sometimes I can be very irritable. I'm usually socially awkward around people I don't know but I try to be open with everything. I also love dark colors and creepy novels.