Cadencecool a dit :

i will trie to redline! I nver critique before :/

I think you should make a line under the ears
and the arm in the back. And you should
closen up the toes and Make the arms a little bit more higher.
And you should make bigger and longer tails and whiskers.
(short whiskers too!)
And Make the snout a little curvy-ish
and make the mouth a really bit close to the nose

Hi yes, you pretty much traced over it with red and put your style.

EDIT: Okay, re-sized. Also, about the hind leg's paws, I just realized today that they weren't like cat/dog paws, haha. So I apologize for that, you don't have to remind me about that.

I have two...

This is a pixelated picture...


Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50267468478

And here's a smooth one...


Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50737107153

If I were to request specific help on anything it would be the paws of the mouse, but any other critique is fine too!

Kiyokichan a dit :

EDIT: Okay, re-sized. Also, about the hind leg's paws, I just realized today that they weren't like cat/dog paws, haha. So I apologize for that, you don't have to remind me about that.

I have two...

This is a pixelated picture...

Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50267468478

And here's a smooth one...

Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50737107153

If I were to request specific help on anything it would be the paws of the mouse, but any other critique is fine too!

I'm giving you critique on the second one.
The feet and legs seems to be pointing another way than the rest of the mouse.
The arms lookks like they come out of her chest.
Since you give the feet 4 toes I think you should give the hands 4 fingers as well, but thats just my opinion.
On the left foot only 2 or 3 toes should be visible.

Ah, thank you! ;w;

Kiyokichan a dit :

EDIT: Okay, re-sized. Also, about the hind leg's paws, I just realized today that they weren't like cat/dog paws, haha. So I apologize for that, you don't have to remind me about that.

I have two...

This is a pixelated picture...

Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50267468478

And here's a smooth one...

Full version (click to enlarge): http://kiyokichan.tumblr.com/image/50737107153

If I were to request specific help on anything it would be the paws of the mouse, but any other critique is fine too!

Oh no.
I wasn't expecting you to post in here.
I have been watching your thread for a while now but I didn't like your art anatomy so I just-

Let me explain why I don't like your art and begin the critique.

First of all, the tails of the two pictures. . . Look like meal worms. I'm not going to explain how to change it but it's not something you should change if you like it. The second picture's length looks very off because of the width of it.

The mouse feet pads uhm.
They look kind of strange to me as I have been only looking at dog and cat feet for so long but I googled up mouse feet.


That's pretty much all my nitpicks.

Anyway, let me try to be unbiased in my critique.

The first one's chest hair looks like you tried too hard on it. Just practice on it more. I know that kind of style and I tried it once in my life. It sucked. :P

The first one's arms uhm.
The mouse's right arm is sticking out in the strangest way I could ever imagine. Sides of shoulders, not in the boob area.

The diamond looks like a triangle, try giving it more life.

The second one's eyes are not alligned. Move the mouse's left eye more to our left.

The second one also has. . . Arms sticking out of their ribcage? The problem with the arms is that it will be too long when they try to walk around on their four feet if we fix that atonomy mistake. The arm is two pieces, not one. When they bend their become looking shorter and that means if they unbend their arms, they will have huge front legs.
I would get a picture but all they have is macho men posing instead of a nice simple picture of a person.

I do have a question though, why isn't the mouse eating the lollipop but kissing it?

Gotta go fast. I'll not be back for a week. Ciao angry critique lovers.

It's okay that you don't like my art. Thanks for the critique, and while it was a bit much I will remember the things you said. C:

To add to Satash's critique, where it's holding the lolipop, the thumbs are facing the wrong way, they are supposed to be on the outside of the hand. I always suggest trying out the poses you are drawing for your mice to check if they aren't too painful. The foot is also at a strange position....wait I'll redline it.

I made different style feet, I made fingers, and I made whiskers.



Your critique has really improved My art, thankyou!

I have a question.

why haven't i bin able to change my avatar lately?

Topic-211738

This is much better, thank you. Now I don't have to shield the eyes of children around me when looking at your mice.
I can't judge on your anatomy though so I'll leave it to someone else.

Besides giant formating size.

Lietfan a dit :

Besides giant formating size.

Well... yeah, there's a lot of background space. I won't bother you about that though.
The feet aren't the same size. He has no arms :^(. Oh, and he's missing an ear.
His teeth shouldn't be on his cheek, but more under his nose. See, that'd be fine if he was facing that direction but it looks like he's facing forwards. Also they're a little bit big (the teeth I mean).
The linework, instead of making it the same colour, you could try to make it a darker shade of the fur colour. Just a suggestion.
The feather looks a little funny, just wondering what the lines inside are supposed to be?
And lastly, what's he sitting on? A cloud? Why is there brown in it?

Nezumini a dit :

Well... yeah, there's a lot of background space. I won't bother you about that though.
The feet aren't the same size. He has no arms :^(. Oh, and he's missing an ear.
His teeth shouldn't be on his cheek, but more under his nose. See, that'd be fine if he was facing that direction but it looks like he's facing forwards. Also they're a little bit big (the teeth I mean).
The linework, instead of making it the same colour, you could try to make it a darker shade of the fur colour. Just a suggestion.
The feather looks a little funny, just wondering what the lines inside are supposed to be?
And lastly, what's he sitting on? A cloud? Why is there brown in it?

oh the brown in the cloud collabed from the fur

Kiyokichan what art program do you use?

made this ^^^^^^ using Gimp.

Peashaman a dit :

made this ^^^^^^ using Gimp.

first of all

smooth stroke

use it

Sourisplum a dit :

first of all

smooth stroke

use it

idk wat that is, and why?

Peashaman a dit :

made this ^^^^^^ using Gimp.

the left ear is larger than the right ear. and it's really hard to tell where the head is since the lineart seperating the head from the ears is just a tad bit lighter than the colouring. i'd fix that, too.
the eyes are too close together.
the paws on your mouse are too square looking and are asymmetrical, same with the arms. you also need to add shoulders to your mouse, arms don't come out from the body starting at the elbow.

your lineart is really wobbly, as sourisplum said, use the smooth stroke to make your linearts smoother looking. i have no idea what that yellow bar in the sky is supposed to be (gonna say it's a reflection from the sun) but if it is actually a reflection from the sun, it needs to be facing the other way and coming from the sun.

Hetaliagal a dit :

the left ear is larger than the right ear. and it's really hard to tell where the head is since the lineart seperating the head from the ears is just a tad bit lighter than the colouring. i'd fix that, too.
the eyes are too close together.
the paws on your mouse are too square looking and are asymmetrical, same with the arms. you also need to add shoulders to your mouse, arms don't come out from the body starting at the elbow.

your lineart is really wobbly, as sourisplum said, use the smooth stroke to make your linearts smoother looking. i have no idea what that yellow bar in the sky is supposed to be (gonna say it's a reflection from the sun) but if it is actually a reflection from the sun, it needs to be facing the other way and coming from the sun.

idk wat smooth stroke is. and if i make shoulders you'll think they're part of a jet-pack the mouse is wearing. (they r rly bad.)

anyways thankz for the review. What does asymmetrical mean?

Peashaman a dit :

idk wat smooth stroke is. and if i make shoulders you'll think they're part of a jet-pack the mouse is wearing. (they r rly bad.)

anyways thankz for the review. What does asymmetrical mean?

ask google, he's your friend. i don't use gimp.
i don't care if it looks like the mouse is wearing a jetpack but it's anatomy. you should really get a book or something that can help you with anatomy because it looks like you really need it.

asymmetrical means "Having no balance or symmetry." i imagine you've learned about symmetry in grade 3 or something like that.