Okay I know theres been a lot of fanfics going on lately, but I just wanted to set this out there

the characters arent really based off anyone i guess, just random people :3
so here ya go

" Her name, who cares about names? Do they really matter? Names are simply just describe your appearance. She had always been ‘different’, at least that’s what people told her. She thought she was perfectly fine, it was the other people that had something wrong with them.

She lived alone in a small space in a wall. She has something called Agoraphobia. She didn't like being around other people, who knows what sickness they could be carrying. She didn’t like crowds, she didn't like people.

Her hand shook as she reached for the door knob. She didn’t know if she should open it or not, who knows what could happen if she went out there. Perhaps be eaten by a cat? She always though she hearding purring and meowing, or maybe she imagined it, she wasn't sure. She lied her hand back to her side.

The phone rang. For a moment she froze, who could it be, why were they calling? She walked up to it, took a deep breathe, and picked up the small little phone with caution.

“H-hello?” She said quietly into the phone.

“It’s Sherry. Lily and I were wondering if you wanted to come over.” She said cheerfully.

“Uh sorry I’m busy….” She murmured into the phone.

“Oh.” She seemed upset. Then she hung up.

She didn't like to tell people about her condition, because they always ended up leaving her. But it’s not like it matters, they found out eventually. She didn’t even know why she cared; she didn't even like talking to people.

She lied on the floor, looking up, trying to figure out where that long streak of emptiness ended. She had always thought of climbing up the wall, maybe there was something up there.

Everything was quiet, no sounds heard, but suddenly, there was a knock. "

~Chapter Two

" Her heart started to beat even faster, who could it be? She crawled up to the small door and looked through the keyhole. There was a large mouse awaiting at the door.

"W-who is it?" She said, her voice shaking.

"We have important news for you." We have news for you.

They didn't give me an answer, who was it? They said we, was there more than one of them? She cracked open the door and looked at the person for a moment.

"Come in.." She opened the door and backed away.

He reached out his paw, about to shake my hand, before I jumped away.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled out.

He stared at her oddly, but then ignored it and sat down.

"Anyways, your mother, she was eaten by the cat a couple blocks down. We are sorry for your loss, but it's not like you can stop it, it's natural."

She shivered in fear. See? This is why it's not safe to go out, diseases, injuries, death.

"Oh." She didn't have any emotion.

They gave her the details of the funeral, told her to take care, then left. She wasn't leaving this house, ever. Not even for a funeral for a loved one. Think of all the bad things that could happen. She didn't know what to do. She vaguely remembered my mom, it had been awhile. She was that little mouse that would stay home, she never really got to spend time with her. Whats the point of going to the funeral if they didn't even know eachother that well. She didn't even remember telling her about her condition.

She stomped around the room frustrated, what was she supposed to do now? "

Oh my :o Amazing :o

this is realllllllllllly good ! more please >w>

Elaf a dit :

"My name, does that really matter? Names are simply just a group of letters describing your appearance. I suppose I’ve always been ‘different’, at least that’s what people tell me. I think I’m perfectly normal, everyone around me are the ‘weird’ ones.

Small mistake: ''My name

Why'd you include the ''
And then there wasn't another '' at the end of a sentence.
Just pointing that out :p

Can't wait for moreee

Vivihi a dit :

Small mistake: ''My name

Why'd you include the ''
And then there wasn't another '' at the end of a sentence.
Just pointing that out :p

Can't wait for moreee

not a mistake

she included the " because it's dialogue, the whole thing is actually dialogue

jane i had no idea you were such a talented writerrr

oh wow *-* this is really good. Can't wait for more :3

Haruhitastic a dit :

she included the " because it's dialogue, the whole thing is actually dialogue

jane i had no idea you were such a talented writerrr

yes this

aw please im pretty bad at writing

chapter two is up~

is this mice or humans

(sorry nevermind)

its mice but i wish i could make it humans ugh

its just makes it sounds cheesy with mice

nice writing jane :p

planning on writing the next chapter soon
oh and any critique would be nice thanks

ugh i hate double posting

anyways
for the character, im having a hard time deciding what should happen, its only chapter three and i dont want to have her facing her fear or anything just yet
so
some ideas would be appreciated

Nice story so far! c:

Wait if the " are dialogues.Isn't the talking supposed to start with ' instead of ".

Notice in chapter 2 you started with a " but in the end you didnt end it by putting a ".

oh whoops
thanks
edited

about time i update this

--
~CHAPTER THREE~

" She didn't know what to do, everthing felt like a blurr, she put her hand on her head and began to waddle and tip over a bit. She fell on her back. She lied there for awhile, her mind blank. She took a deep breath and got up.

She stood infront of the door, her legs shaking. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, then cracked open the door.

She scurried out, and stopped for a moment. She looked around, everything was gigantic, she had never seen outside of her house. Her jaw dropped, it was amazing, yet terrifying at the same time.

She couldn't breathe, she was in shock. She heard loud noises, whispers; she could hear everything.

'I can't do this!' She covered her large ears and began to scream as she padded back to her little room.

She slammed the door behind her. She got up and looked out the keyhole in the door, to see if anyone saw her. There was a small mouse looking at her with a blank expression. She looked a bit odd, there was a tear in her ear, and her leg was a bit crooked. Who was this girl? "