[Fan-fiction] Eye of The Beholder |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392317040000
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![]() (I've been waiting for a week before I posted this thread.) This fan-fic has been posted in my fanart thread but I thought I would give it a thread of its own so I can be a bit more organized with it. I've already written up to chapter 2 and posted it in my thread, I'll post it here soon. Summary in a Sentence (check out the prologue for more): Told by a transformice mouse's POV, this story is sure to make you think more about life for a mouse. *Note* The use of symbolism may be hard for some readers to understand. Critiques are open. WISH LIST:These are items I am in need of uvu -Characters, if you would like to sign up A little bit about me: Well this is my first fan-fiction and I'm trying real hard to write well. Guide: EN- Info CN- Prologue and Chapters BR- Characters Thanks for reading ![]() Prologue Why,why is the my world like this? I want to get out of here. I don't want to stay here. It's been a curse. Why does life have to be like this? Why do we have to act like tribute for the gods? I hope and beg and PRAY that I won't be forced to leave my hole. For every time a mouse does, a magical force of a god starts to control them. They are forced to be dressed up in ugly wigs, hats, bows, ribbons, and forced to collect cheese. They no longer have control of themselves as the gods have already ruled over. It's a horrendous sight, seeing my mouse friends suffer like that. Don't the gods know how hard we work each day? It's only for a couple of minutes when we return to hole that we get to play and do as we wish, but the next day, the gods take over us again. I keep wishing that one day, we can overcome these gods of evil. Chapter one: Page 1 Chapter two: Page 1 ![]() SIGN UP TO BE A CHARACTER: (Not all characters are guaranteed to be in the story, but it's very likely) Form: Your TFM Name: Name of Character: Reference (cfm dressroom please) Personality Characters so far: The Narrator~ a dit : His name is never mentioned but his personality is greatly revealed. Loyal to friends and family, it's amazing what he has to go through in his life. Swiss~ a dit : ![]() Sally~ ![]() a dit : Personality She is usually very quiet, but always looking for friends, she never has much friends. She is very friendly and doesnt ever fight, she solves problems with words, like most of the people do. Swiss is a 'go with the flow' type of guy. Friendly and brave, he willing to do anything and try anything. He never realizes his impact and how big of a difference he makes in the lives of others. |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392317520000
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dis seems interesting . v . (lafs at the big fish hat) wait "they are forced to be dressed up in ugly wigs, hats, bows, ribbons, and forced to collect cheese." o god |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392321660000
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wowo interesting story kat Bad pun alert- he has a fish hat on and "goes with the flow" hueheuheuheu |
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Your TFM Name: Kittyepress Name of Character: Sally (I think) Reference (cfm dressroom please) ![]() Personality She is usually very quiet, but always looking for friends, she never has much friends. She is very friendly and doesnt ever fight, she solves problems with words, like most of the people do. |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392323040000
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I wuv dis story. Pwease write moar. |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392598620000
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Why not post this: Chapter 1: I'm an old mouse, I've seen many things and said many things. I've had experiences that I'll never forget. The gods have made this all possible of course, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like if there were no gods. I bet I wouldn't be so scared all the time and I bet I wouldn't be as tired. Yes, if there were no gods life would be way easier for us. When I was younger my best friend was this mouse named Swiss. We were closer than two peas in a pod. Now you're probably wondering why we aren't friends anymore. Let me tell you why. The gods started to rule over him! My parents told me Swiss had been forced to leave his hole. They told me a mean god had ruled over him and made Swiss do terrible things. I started to wonder why Swiss had started to become so weak. One day he would come to my hole with a broken arm, the next day with a broken leg. Turns out the gods had been forcing him to jump in the ocean, onto lava, and even run into bombs. And soon enough it happened... A couple of days before my birthday I realized the gods had gone too far, but it was already too late. What I had dreaded the whole time had already happened. His family had already came over to tell us the news. With tear filled eyes, Swiss' family told us that the god had drowned him in an attempt to "troll". They told us that when he returned to the hole it was already too late. The hospital could not save him. Swiss had passed. How could someone be so careless? WHY would someone be so cruel and hurt poor mice like that? The evil god had made Swiss jump in his last ocean. He had made Swiss breathe his final breath. And after all that, that god had the nerve to rage about a "glitch" that was making "HIS mouse" not show up. I HATE THAT GOD FOR DOING IT! He is just like the others; stupid and only thinking for themselves. Why if they were just a bit more considerate this would have never happened! And if they hadn't done it, I would have never turned into this mess! WHY DID HE DROWN SWISS? I could not think of a logical answer, making the next days, weeks, and months following the death of Swiss the worst in my life. I went into deep depression; wanting to suicide or just wanting to let my lifeless body be ruled over by the gods. I never thought I would get over it and I never did for a long time. |
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Hey I like joining stuuf so im going to do just thatttttttttttttttttttttttt Tfm Name: Imaewsome Name of character: Calpurnia ! Mouse:(Calpurnia) ![]() Personality- Calpurnia is the adventurous type,being outgoing and weird most of the time she kinda crazy.Shecan still be serious at serious times because you know, you must be serious in serious times, but she still can be quiet when she starts to think deeply or overthink. ( SHE OVERTHINKS ALOT ) She also has a weird addiction to scarfs...the color purple and more scarfs. (Judge the color purple and she will kick you.. and if you touch her scarfor judge it terribly she will also kick you) |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1392825600000
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I like chapter one c; Your TFM Name: Gabreyolo Name of Character: Lyla Reference (Imgur wont work) Reference Personality - Lyla is friendly , active , she has night mares alot . Always reads books about old history , about demons and all that stuff. |
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This is so short..sorry :x Chapter 2: Swiss' death was hard on me and I started to get weak myself. But soon this sadness turned back into hate. This hate grew so much that it made me make a life threatening decision. I volunteered to be Swiss' replacement. (You see, once a mouse dies while still under the control of a God, a new mouse is sent to replace it. During this time, the God experiences some technical difficulties making them not able to access their mouse.) Of course my family begged me not to do it as they knew the horrors of leaving your hole. I knew I had to be loyal and honorable to Swiss so out I went. The world outside the hole was better than I thought. The trees were bright green, the grass was really soft, and the fresh air was wonderful. But that was before the God started to rule over. All of a sudden everything changed. The air smelled like puke, the grass was hard, and the trees were bald. How could everything change like that? Throughout the day I saw the most miserable mice you could have ever imagined. They were tired, hungry, and overworked by the Gods. One of these mice was a little girl named Sally. But something stood out about her and that most mice didn't have. She always had a smile on and seemed happy even through the toughest maps. She had...joy. Curiosity got the better of me so I walked up to her and asked why she was so happy all the time even though the God did terrible things to her. Sally told me it was because the Gods were her friends. Bewildered and caught off-guard, I slowly backed away from the joyful little mouse. |
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Amg that's amazing! I like sally already<3 |
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Is there going to be an explanation about what happened and why there are such gods? How these gods are controlling the mice? It seems to me that the gods have shown up recently because of the fact that this mouse who is narrating the story has seen greener grass before. "But that was before the God started to rule over." Mildly interested in the concept. It seems like these 'gods' are sadists. |
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I would like to sign up! Your TFM Name: Beaglelovelp Name of Character: G'reth (Gareth) Reference (cfm dressroom please) ![]() Personality: Mysterious. She lost both her eyes, but somehow can still tell her way through without help. No one understands that she just wants friends, but has none. She will sacrafice her life only to save another.... |
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I really love this story, and I'll try to follow it ^u^ Your TFM Name: Smithzaza Name of Character: Zaku Reference: ![]() Personality: She is mysterious. She doesn't talk a lot. She lost the half of her soul, but she tries to stay in this world. Her left eye is red and blind, and the other is blue. She doesn't think that she is important. All her family is dead, killed by her, but she did not wanted to... It looks like she hates everyone, but it's like that because she thinks everyone hates her. If you don't understand something I said, just tell me.... And I can help for the banner if you want |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1393000680000
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oh you made a thread for the fanfic, yaay. Can't wait for more |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1393015500000
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Satash a dit : The Gods are us Satash. They are us, the players. "But that was before the God started to rule over." Before the God started to rule over that particular mouse on that particular day. Am I making sense?? Smithzaza a dit : sure if you want ^^ |
![]() ![]() « Citoyen » 1393288680000
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hello ![]() By wub/ noobforevah e; ![]() by vivi |
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Kattiej a dit : amg amazing banner |
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Kattiej a dit : omg her banner is way better than miiine nice story by the way :OO |
![]() ![]() « Consul » 1393325940000
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![]() you did ask for a banner earlier. |
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