Ask her to turn around

slap him for being a pervert

make selfie with them

ask him to buy me a whisky

Play slap fighting championship with her until her face is disfigured

oh really ? hahah i would accept it, just letting u know that my fingernails are sharp so i would disfigure yours first

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laugh at him

Bully her because now our faces are disfigured but mine has always been ugly so its fine but her cute face is gone forever

give her my dog food

I would draw a picture for her

hug her

Giving her an empty postcard.

sending him a truck loaded with empty boxes.
i work at a post office so i can do it ;)