Use my Switch Hook level 2 to switch places with him.

You have been impaled by a sumo wrestler's fingernail.

for some odd reason there was a metal plate where he impaled me, so he was the one ending up hurt ^^
your swimming in the swimming pool and out of nowhere a group of fast man-eating fish are targetting you

I'll let them go by, if they like fish that much to eat while swimming. Also, that would be fast men eating fish, BTW.

A stick of butter is suffocating you under its trans fats.

i dont eat butter so it will never happen :3

a kid is playing with a fake pistol with you but accidently he refilled it with real bullets and is shooting at you!

CALL THE TEACHERS!!!!!!!!!!! (If its at school)

An evil Pikachu is using a crane and its dipping and soaking you into the lava!

turn into groudon and step on pikachu
quick a bird wants to eat you D: and it's huge o0o

EAT TEH BIRD

Elsa froze yhuuu! wut to do?

im a vamp so some ice won't kill me plus i'm the ultimate user of ice and snow magic so... I'M THE ONE WHOSE GONN FREEZE ELSA AND NOT THE OPP.

the sign read not to enter the lion's cage but you were curious so you did, and now you are being chased by a lion 10x faster than you!

But I'm 1000000000000000000x faster than that lion, so my escape was successful >:3

You are sucked in a black hole that appeared out of nowhere (im so evil ;-;)

a random rabbit tells me to do a barrel roll... i did. and i died lol


you are being attacked by evil yogurts and you cant eat them or the world will end

i eat them, the world ended the attack

You are being attacked by Homework, the teacher forces you to do it but if you do it the universe will end

I torch it all with my flamethrower. DONE

Your cat is attempting to eat your food!

Well, i could just move it away from my food

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You are being chased by a murder of evil crows that will kill you and you are running straight towards a cliff, what do you do?

i get my god damn ak47 and shoot those things down

you're walking down the side walk alone at night, and i look at you with a gun in my hand.

i'd just run away

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you're in a plane and suddenly the plane doesn't work properly

*Jumps out and dives in water*

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You ate too much and are about to pop like a balloon.

Just a sec.
*goes to toilet and puts two fingers down my throat to empty stomach*

That's how the romans did it. Distastefull, but effective.

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You are drunk and are about to stick a knife in a plug.

So drunk that I grabbed a rubber dildo instead-


*Ebola has entered the chat*

*Leaves*

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You decided to throw yourself off a bridge.

I'll grab onto a ledge, or a branch, or something I can hang onto

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You are walking down an alley and then suddenly you are chased by a pack of rabid dogs