[A0xis] The Cheese Initiated |
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I'm very happy this thread exits so as soon as I saw a fanfic section I had to scurry off and write something! *This story is written in Simplified English (not Traditional) **This story is at a grade 10 reading level ***Updates will be added directly to the Original Post, I will post to say what chapters have been added ****All illustrations are my own Chapter 1: Little Mouse Standing upon a hill is a mouse forlorn. His haggard breath smokes in the frigid morning like his late mother's hearth-- a warmth now dissipated and far away. He has stood guard upon this hill throughout the night, little head turned toward the stars on the watch for old souls and new purpose. The morning rays dry the last of his little tears, and slowly, with ice crystals inundating his brown, straw fur, he finally draws his attention down to a familiar ridge looming in the distance. His whiskers, though heavy with loss, twitch with a sudden anticipation. If he were blessed with control of air or magic, he would have bested that familiar distance many harvest moons ago, but this mouse is a mouse alone. The first tentative steps cause his little cold bones to ache, but upon leaving the perimeter of his little homely hill, he is in a full fevered sprint to the horizon. The cold, misty air stings his little throat and the frost bitten grass whips his little feet, but onward and upward and downward and upward he goes until the ridge, once so far in the distance, blocks the young sun from his eyes. At places this ridge makes a perfect 90 degree angle with the earth, and it encircles the entirety of the little mouse's home fields as though some great calamity befell this land long ago. No tree grows against the ridge to bridge the earth and sky, and no roots within offer a ladder or hand to the little mouse. The little mouse, with no concept and no fear of gravity, jumps upon the smooth earth anyway--and promptly falls back down on his bottom. He soon discerns that almost as soon as his paws touch upon the unstable earth, his hold gives-- but not soon enough before he can jump to new footing. In his second attempt, he takes two giant leaps up the ridge before falling back in a hail of dust. His third attempt ends much the same. Slowly and steadily, however, his jumps become faster, shorter, and more skilled. Finally, with the sun now glaring down the length of the ridge in a furious taunt, the little mouse blindly made his scurry up the impossible earth. Jump. Jump. Jump. Loose soil showers downward. Jump. Jump. Jump. Soon the little mouse passes a point where, if he should fall, this would be the last attempt. Jump. Jump. He mistimes a jump in his tiresome state, and slides down several feet-- his fingers clinging desperately to sheering gravel. Jump. Jump. Jump. He continues upward, paws bleeding and breath now hot as the fire burning in his lungs. Jump, Jump.... Stillness. A great thundering of blood gallops around the little mouse's ear drums. Every bone and muscle screams out in agony and his lungs protest even to breathe. He opens his eyes after several long moments, unable to know to which heaven he has ascended. Soft springy grass presses beneath his sweaty fur and a cooling breeze blankets his form. This heavenly pasture is flat and wide as his little beady eyes could see, with tall trees sprinkling the rolling country side and great tall bushes dividing the land into neat squared fields. White, springy clouds dance on the blue disk of sky, and for once the sun seems to be smiling. A low growl sounds from the little mouse, and at once he begins bouncing all about the field's secret gardens for yesterday's dinner and today's breakfast and lunch. Berries, nuts, seeds-- more food than he's ever seen in his little family burro. He rushes into the long cross-crossing roads of bushes and is soon ecstatic to find a kind of wired highway deep within the thickets, over which the thick bushes had grown. He sets upon this highway, fast, full and warm, until the bushes fall away and he finds that the last of his little metal path is ensnared around the stump of a large felled oak at the edge of a vast, echoing forest. He stands still and alert in the open, watching the light through the leaves flicker in and out. He carefully shuffles onto the center of the stump, but shift in the air pressure causes the little mouse's heart to race. A single bellow of a wing beat behind him sends all senses into overdrive. Even as his legs instinctively gear up to spring clear over the tree stump's edge, he knows he will not make the jump in time. With a thwack, he is stuck hard in the side by a fast blur, and his body barrels over the stump perpendicular to the deathly talons swiping past his peripheral vision—in exactly the place he once stood. "Direct hit!" The little mouse thuds onto the forest floor and becomes concealed among the ruffled leaf litter. "Did you kill him?" "I thought you were meant to be aiming for the bird." "Quiet, I know what I'm doing." "He dead, I know it." A little troop of patters arrives around the base of the trunk where they presumed the little mouse had fallen. "Oh golly, you hit him so hard he done evaporated." "He's not dead, Gunner." "Ay, he 'aint dead, he's right 'er!" Gunner, a mouse with more heart than wit, moves a rotten oak leaf from top the little bruised mouse and began to fan the kid awake. "Maybe he is dead," Mozzella, who had been so sure of the little mouse's resilience so far, began devising the funeral plans and mentally proofreading the letter she would send to the little mouse’s family. "Everyone, please." The leader of the troop knelt to examine the sodden little mass beside him. He touches a paw to the mouse's side, "He's more than just bruised, looks like this mouse has been though a lot today. Gunner, fetch some sticks and the biggest oak leaf you can find. Mozz, help me carry this little guy to camp." Their great leader, Eeth, constructs a gurney of the materials and thus three became four as the troop make their way under the forest floor until they came at last to a great up-turned tree at the very heart of the woods. This unassuming oak was unlike any other, for it was the backbone of a vast city of mice, complete with rudimentary electricity. The organization of the tree is as such, from tip to roots: An unimaginable number of nimble branches and leaves weave together a network of little mouse houses at the front end of this kingdom and all along the length. Each home--- small, stable, and reinforced by sticks and other materials-- is connected with roads of twisting branches. Many are fitted with straw beds and furniture, and each have a single white Christmas tree light weaved into their thatched roofs. The leaf city sparkles in sunlight by day and fairy lights by night. The base of these neighborhoods connect to a long, hollow trunk. The youngest mice, tempted by the treasures stored deep within the darkness, often dare each other to go in, but they always turn back where the light dissipates into shadow. The older mice know the trunk is simply a convenient place to store the season's provisions, so they believe. The upturned roots of the tree, which resemble that of a giant nest of snakes, is called home by special mice such as Eeth. This place is not offered electricity or sunlight, but none who live there seem to mind. The troop carries the little mouse directly to the soft earth beneath the tree's roots, which acts as a village and center of operations for the daily activities. Small buildings-- stolen children's doll houses and other scavenged structures-- circle this earthly town center decorated with colored glass and smooth stepping stones. Mozz dropped one end of the gurney at the town center's medical, which presented as a few stick support beams with a roof of tattered tartan cloth. "We got a 'nother!" She yelled, and surely enough, a large white fluff of a mouse arose from one of the hospital beds. "I think we've got enough!" He yells in a sleepy haze. "Doc, one more mouse won't hurt, this kid almost got swiped by one of those day owls." Eeth interjected. "Day owl? Don't go bringing me mice I can't save." "He 'aint dead, we done went over dat already." "He's just bruised by a cannon doc, I saved this one." Eeth looked into the medic's eyes, and a deep sadness passed over the medic's face for just one moment. "I won't guarantee anything." The medic waved a paw over his head and the matter was over. Please message me privately to point out mistakes and if u want to critique so that i can fix it and no one notice, haha. Dernière modification le 1482850320000 |
Tereswift « Citoyen » 1482859020000
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Ahhhhh its so good! I love the way you write :D |
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tereswift a dit : Thank you so much!! I'm honestly surprised anyone read it xD |
Fairysugars « Censeur » 1482864660000
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This is nice! I love how you added in illustrations; it adds to the fun when reading! |
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Fairysugars a dit : Sucks, thank you fairysugars /v/ |
Laderik « Censeur » 1483233960000
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This is the third time I've read this. I seriously can't wait for more. :) Dernière modification le 1486848960000 |
Little_soldr « Citoyen » 1483324620000
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I want mORE aaa |
Cchiiko « Citoyen » 1483910940000
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The way you wrote this story is beautiful. You described everything in so much detail and I feel like I'm in the story. Dernière modification le 1483911000000 |