good stuff!! if only i had started reading this since the thread first opened so i could get my mouse in it, but im excited to see how this story unfolds none the less!!! <3

Once a week sounds good.
I'm surprised you didn't put that chapter and image in a spoiler like you usually do.

Mewisawsome a dit :

good stuff!! if only i had started reading this since the thread first opened so i could get my mouse in it, but im excited to see how this story unfolds none the less!!! <3

Ah, yeah. One of my fears was that no one would actually wanna read it if they didn't have a character in it whoops. But I'm really happy you like it!!

Bastlase a dit :

Once a week sounds good.
I'm surprised you didn't put that chapter and image in a spoiler like you usually do.

?? I've never put them in spoilers though. Just replies to comments and non-story related stuff

It would appear neater
maybe I'm thinking of someone else...
You can put them it tables too, in the OP, for easy access.

Bastlase a dit :

It would appear neater
maybe I'm thinking of someone else...
You can put them it tables too, in the OP, for easy access.

eh, nah. theres nothing wrong with other people using spoilers but ive noticed that it's WAY easier to miss a chapter if it's in a spoiler. also spoilers seem less appealing to me in general, i dunno. not so sure i agree that they look neater.

the TOC in the OP could definitely be improved, but i won't be putting every chapter there for two reasons:

1- the formatting would not work very nicely, especially with the pictures
2- i did that in a much older fanfic and quickly ran out of space in my op

thanks for the advice, but i just like it a lot more this way.

O K.

Chapter 13

ABCUpon exiting the small building, Zipp watched another blue-banded worker approaching, escorting a newcomer to the door. As the mouse walked through the door, the authority glanced at Zipp briefly and then began to turn around, presumably to bring the next new recruit over.
ABC”Wait,” Zipp called after him with more firmness than usual, perhaps for the same reason that his hands still shook in anger. Wimpy was the last thing he wanted to be perceived as. “Would you tell me which way I go to the dorms?”
ABCThe mouse was fairly muscular and bulky, though his eyes lacked that same roughness to him. “That way,” he spoke in a surprisingly pleasant tone whilst pointing a finger past Zipp, “You shouldn’t need to walk too far before you get there. It’s pretty hard to miss.”
ABCBefore this point Zipp had concluded that being snarky and condescending was part of the criteria for working at Boocamp, and that the authority that had given him a tour earlier was just a hiccup in the system. “Oh, thank you,” he said genuinely, and started towards the direction the authority had pointed in.
ABCStill unable to remember much from his earlier tour of the camp, Zipp did not recognize any of the buildings he was walking past. He did, however, take note of various spots with large walls enclosing the perimeter of the camp. If there was a place without towering walls, there would be a guard stationed there instead.
ABCHe avoided eye contact with them.
ABCAfter a few minutes of walking, he saw something exceptionally larger than any of the other structures he had seen thus far in Bootcamp. It was a massive building that was both wide and tall. No one could have missed that.
ABCZipp walked through the door at the end of the building nearest to him. He found himself in a short hallway, where another hallway a few steps ahead of him branched to the left while the hallway he was in ended in a glass door. He noticed a sign marked “MAINTENANCE” by the hallway to his left, and noted the sign on the glass door in front of him labeled “DORMITORIES” with a sign above it. He decided to take a few moments in the tiny hall to get his bearings before facing someone else. The single white light in the entrance was dimly lit, and it created a rare serenity when combined with the complete silence around him. All Zipp heard was the sound of his own breathing. After all of the trouble he had been through so far, he had a moment to relax and clear his mind. He was doing his best to forget about the nasty ratmice, the cold-blooded authorities, and that one camper that got a bit too close for comfort before telling Zipp off.
ABCThe entrance door opened, and Zipp instinctively turned to see a mouse with a pristine plastic strip around her wrist that matched Zipp’s. In his tranquility, he felt empathetic for her.
ABC”What luck we have getting stuck here, huh?” he asked her in a manner that was intended to lighten the mood.
ABCShe did not acknowledge him the way Zipp expected most people to do. Instead, she simply kept walking.
ABC”Pipsqueak,” she remarked as she passed him, taking no time to stop and pushing through the door at the other end of the hallway.
ABCZipp felt his body shudder, though he took a few deep breaths and pushed the hatred aside. Despite these efforts, the damage of the remark was done. The dim lighting now made him feel sickly, and the silence merely reminded him of his loneliness. It was definitely time to go inside.
ABCWalking through the glass doors, he was met with a well-lit room with yet another reception desk in the middle of the far well. There were only a few chairs against the right wall, and they were all vacant. There were doors on both sides of the reception desk on the far well as well, along with another door on the left wall. The only other mice in the room were the receptionist and the mouse that Zipp now recognized as one of those newcomers. A few moments later, the voluntary newcomer walked off and the receptionist looked over to Zipp.
ABC”Hello!” she greeted him positively. “Do you remember your dorm?”
ABCAs he walked over to the desk, he pondered for a moment, “Uhhh, yes. I believe? Uh, dorm 223C?”
ABCShe pointed at the door to the right of the reception desk while she began shifting through a drawer in her desk. “That’s a stairwell. Once you get to the second floor, there will be central hallway that you can walk down until you see a ‘C’ on one of the signs.” She looked up from the drawer and handed Zipp a silver key marked with his room number.
ABCZipp thanked her and went through the door to the stairwell. Immediately, he was hit with a stifling air that made the stairwell feel muggy and hot. Not wanting to stick around any longer than he had to in the makeshift sauna, Zipp climbed up the steps and went through the door to the second floor. Upon viewing the central hallway, he realized why the building had seemed so massive from the outside. He could not see the other end of the hall, and did not believe he would had been able to even if the lights weren’t half out. Immediately to his right was another large hallway, and upon inspecting two signs above him, Zipp deducted that they led to dorms D-F and that the hall straight ahead led to dorms A-C. He started down the straight hallway, stopping once he finally saw a sign marked “C” hanging from the ceiling. He looked to the right to see yet another hallway, with doors spanning down both of its sides.
ABCIt was set up similar to a hotel. There would be a group of four rooms, two doors on each side, followed by a few feet of plain wall, followed by more doors, and so on. He continued down it until he was nearly at its end, where he saw room 223C and opened the door.
ABCHe wasn’t so sure why he had expected very much out of a Bootcamp dorm.
ABCThe room was cramped. There was a bunk bed on each side of the room, leaving a very small portion in the center open. On the far wall, just barely able to fit between the two bunk beds, was a wardrobe with four drawers. He wasn’t so sure what they were for, considering the fact that any belongings newcomers had were confiscated upon arrival.
ABCHe lay down on one of the bottom bunks, exhausted from the day's events, while his mind continued racing. After his unpleasant encounters with other Bootcampers so far, the idea of sharing a small dorm with three of them was a bit nauseating. Or, perhaps, it was just withdrawal. God, if only someone here had a pipe he could-
ABCThe door opened. Zipp quickly sat up to see who was coming in as two mice entered the room.
ABC"He said we’ll just have to wait until-“ the orange and yellow mouse’s voice trailed off at the sight of Zipp on the bed. The mouse next to him, who was quite muscular and wearing a helmet, also stopped in his tracks a few steps from the doorway. The three stared at each other in silence for a few moments, before the yellow mouse mumbled, “dinner…”
ABC”H-hello,” Zipp smiled uneasily, “I’m new here. This is the room I was put in.”
ABC”Well, hello there sir!” the helmet-wearing mouse greeted in a loud, booming voice.
ABCThe yellow mouse next to him was equally friendly. “Don’t worry, you aren’t the first newcomer I’ve roomed with,” he started, easily noting the familiar, nervous shake in Zipp’s voice. “You’re lucky to get stuck with us,” he half-laughed while prodding an elbow at the mouse next to him.
ABC”Definitely!” the other cheerily agreed. “I’m sure Kenji will be back soon, too, he’s a real fun guy to be around too!”
ABCZipp’s smile turned genuine. “Thank you both very much,” he told them. “It’s been a long day.”
ABCThe yellow mouse nodded his head. “I’m sure it has. Hey, don’t get too worked up about things, though. We can always help you through your first few days at camp.” He began to say something else, but he heard the door unlock behind him and turned his head. “Oh, hey, that’s Kenji! You can get to know him too now.”
ABCBut as the door opened and the third mouse walked through, Zipp immediately froze up. His muscles tensed and his eyes widened. The mouse that came through the door did the same, though with a bit more annoyance in his eyes.
ABCZipp realized he did not want to get to know Kenji at all.

*likes new chapter*